I have a strong suspicion that a certain rumor is being perpetuated about me, by someone who has actually been doing rumor-worthy things.
I've kept this person's secrets my entire life. Yet they pretend to be my confidant and didn't hesitate to spill secrets of mine to others... For no other reason, it seems, than to entertain the listener. Possibly this was done just to make me look really bad and to therefore rise in the esteem of that listener and untold others.
A few days ago I was pumped for information about the cause of my current depressive episode, and prompted with a conspiratorial whisper that almost excitedly asked if it was all about a friend of mine going away.
Good freaking grief.
Well, I suppose that explains why this person's controversial new squeeze greeted me on our first meeting with questions that showed he clearly took this false tale to heart.
Why have this friend and I been "hanging out" some? At the foundation of it is likely pity for me, just doing me the favor of trying to break me out of my defensive little shell.
Interested in me?
Are you kidding?? Of course he wouldn't be, so it would show a bit of pity for me if those involved in it would kindly STOP spreading that rumor.
But tell the tale all you want if that's what you need to get excited. Perhaps it will distract everyone from seeing what you have actually been doing.
Just don't get all angry at me when your sensational little show never materializes.
And understand this is why I will never trust you again, and why I don't trust anyone else, either.
A line from The Last of the Mohicans keeps echoing in my head:
"He warned me about people like you.
He said, 'Do not try to understand them.'.
Yes, and he said, 'Do not try to make them understand you. That is because they are a breed apart and make no sense.'"
A breed apart.