Wednesday, May 30, 2012

Dressing Dilemma

When I was in middle school, we weren't allowed to wear shorts to school, yet our required school gym shorts were indecently short. Jams, the knee-length crazy-bright print drawstring shirts that were all the rage for kids my age back then, hadn't quite come into the scene.

Isn't it ironic that they wouldn't let us wear shorts because they didn't trust us, yet they forced us to do squat-thrusts and everything else in a gym full of boys in those super short shorts.

You know, what running shorts look like today.

I was fortunate to be in great shape back then with legs to match, though there I was with those horrid glasses I had to wear. Blech. A look at my 8th grade yearbook pictures will show that I hid my glasses for every picture. It didn't make me a knockout, but I will tell you this:

Since I was 12, whenever we went to the beach for a vacation and I went swimming, I did have much older boys giving me the eye. Of course I didn't swim in glasses. I hid them then, too. The old saying about men not making passes at girls with glasses was definitely true for me.

But I had a killer hourglass figure at twelve. :D. All the way past college.

Actually, I still do. I just don't like how generous those curves are now. But I'm working on it.

On the bright side, all three of the sport tank tops I bought last not really accentuate my shape, though they don't actually control anything into a false impression of an hourglass. It's for real.

On the dark side, I can't find a pair of shorts for running that actually suits me. Last night I did buy a pair of running shorts and....

... I think you have to have perfectly toned thighs for them to not look indecent and disgusting at the same time. And my thighs do not currently please me. But these shorts are way too short.

But the longer shorts are Bermuda length, and while the length does satisfy me in the mirror, they do that same goofy move that gets on my last nerve. They ride up on ONE freaking leg!! The other leg won't stay up there if I push it up to match.

Now I'm beginning to understand Flo-Jo's running costume with one long leg and one panty leg.

Still, what am I going to do about this? I wish there was something loose and in a medium length so that it just wouldn't ride up asymmetrically. That drives me crazy.

And I grew up in a house with someone telling me that anything tight or short was what a whore would wear. See the dilemma?

Maybe the fault is mine because I did go looking at Wal-Mart for running clothes and the nearest real sporting goods store (with real clothes for runners) is in another city.

I'll get nicer clothes when I don't cringe looking in the mirror at how the current ones fit. :D

1 comment:

  1. I would not re-live middle school for a million dollars. If I could skip past 3 years of my life, I think 6th-8th would be my choice. Hang in there, gal... --lc