Sunday, June 17, 2012

Dreaded Day

Father's Day is one of the most dreaded days of the year for me. More on why, later. A hint: I can't make him happy.

Spent hours making a very artistic heartfelt card a couple of years ago, and he tossed it on the table without really looking. (I even added metal eyelets... Those things hurt to attach!) Sibling came in with a simple purchased card and he acted like it was a monumental effort. Praised and cheered, practically.

Bought him a new belt he said he needed -- but a more expensive one that was reversible -- black and brown leather. It was a good name brand from an expensive store. Not long after he made sure to kick up a huge fuss about how I bought him a cheap belt because it broke. (It was sturdy. I tested it before I bought it.)

Bought him a $400 fireplace heater in a solid wood mantel for Christmas and he complained about the workmanship and missing screws. Then he said it stopped working and demanded that I get it replaced, insinuating that I was to blame for the problem. He even said that I should buy him another gift to replace it. (10 months after Christmas.)

Three years ago, I gave him gift cards to an expensive local Italian restaurant, and he complained after that he didn't like the food there. Was it really my fault he was so damned picky?

Once I baked him a butter pecan cake -- his favorite ice cream flavor. To show me what he thought of the cake, he left it on the dining room table, where it grew moldy, waiting on me to discover on my next visit.

I wanted to buy him an iPad, to keep his mind sharp, but each time I tried to get him to try mine out, he acted like I was handing him something that was beneath him. "Get that thing away from me!". You'd have thought I was handing him a steaming sack of manure fresh from a pasture.

Oh well, gift card it is. I thought about making him some fudge, but I imagine he will sneer at that too.

It's getting to the point when I'm going to start mailing a generic card and leave it at that.

Well. I hope that all of you who exist in the favor of your fathers have a pleasant day with him, if he is still alive. I'm sure mine will be pleased when my brother and sister arrive, and then I can slip quietly away.

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