Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Small Town Blues, Blahs, & the Refusal to Settle

Living in a small town as a kid had a very few perks. There wasn't much to my world. I didn't need much. Heaven knows, if I had known there was anything else out there, I might have wanted more.

I was in an actual city (a small city, but about five times bigger than my piddly little town) on Sunday. We went into Target and I realized they sell stuff I didn't even know existed. And that was just looking at the makeup section of the store.

Wow. It's a good thing wearing makeup isn't a big interest of mine. Sure, I wear it, but I don't like for itto be what people notice about me. Maybe that's why I've never had people flocking around lil ole glam me. She only exists around Halloween, and only on those Halloweens I actually get to leave the house. Yeah, the fun part of my life has really closed up on me and there wasn't much to begin with.

There just isn't much to do in a small town if you don't put on airs and style yourself as some kind of local aristocracy. I mean really... No famous people live here, and nobody I'd count as important to the world does either. No generous humanitarian millionaires either. Just a bunch of rednecks trying to lord it over the rest of the rednecks. And a few criminal so-called local leaders who have embarrassed us all by getting our town on 20/20 for their misdeeds.

The town is fine. It's the people that are a problem.

Supplies are starting to dwindle, and there is absolutely no culture to be found here. Snobby people think that they are cultured, but really... What have they learned? What do they share with their community? Oh right, their idea of community ends outside their circle of friends.

Want to learn something? You have to drive at least an hour to find a place that even offers classes. Want to teach something? You still have to drive to get supplies for the class. Might as well write a book.

If you want to see a stage performance, you have to drive two or three hours and even then, the offerings are pretty bland fare. I want to see an Adam Ant concert, but I think the closest is 8 hours away. I know. It's a big country, only so many days in a month, have to consider the demographic, rednecks in general weren't too nice to him the last time he toured here... All very valid reasons I understand reasonably. Still, it sucks being in a small town that feels like it is in a distant dark pit where no contact with the outside world really exists.

If I hated my job (which I don't) I could just run away somewhere else! Oh yeah, sure. Easy for you to say. You have no intention of doing it yourself so that you can see your advice is faulty.

I am the only one to pay all the bills and those bills include a mortgage that still has to be paid even if I pay rent someplace else. If I had a husband to "take care of everything" while I found another great teaching job elsewhere... Sure. Easy. Yeah, right.

I'm not getting married to anyone other than a fellow who adores me. :) yeah, I know "good luck finding one." Lol. Well guess what? I've had a lot of alone time to think about what I want in a man, and my standards have risen, because I know I deserve better than I've seen. (There is only one item on my "list", and I shouldn't have to say what that is. If you have to ask, then you aren't doing it.)

And I don't have to settle.

Hopefully, you didn't settle either.

Heehee and no, I don't hate men. I realize sometimes it might seem that way, but really, it is unfair to hate the ones I don't know. :D. I only detest the ones who have wronged me or are trying to wrong me. The rest still have a fair shot at friendship, at least. ;) maybe more.

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