Sunday, August 26, 2012

Bothering

I wonder sometimes just how much of an effect the food I eat has on my moods. For example, I wonder if consuming high amounts of sugar causes a feeling similar to actual depression.

Today I had birthday cake and ice cream and I started feeling really sad after that. I'd also eaten potato chips and cereal earlier today, but the cereal was frosted mini wheats, so I feel like I've been eating straw to the breaking point. Stuffed. Like a scarecrow.

Ah, you can't really count the potato chips against me though, since I made them in my microwave and the only oil that touched them was the olive oil I brushed on the cooking plate to prevent sticking. Just the tiniest amount of salt in the seasoning as well. All in all, fairly healthy for a potato. I'm considering trying sweet potato chips, because those really are good for you and I don't like them. Something in my brain tells me something isn't right when I eat them. Maybe as super healthy crunchy chips I could tolerate them.

I haven't been drinking my water at all. Not at work, where I've been trying the sweet tea, and discovered that by adding two-thirds water to the tea, I like it. No water in my classroom, because I spend the day running back and forth to a distant bathroom. I think that and not eating oatmeal for breakfast has caused the stuffed feeling. I really must make a serious effort to not eat cafeteria food as well.

What to do... Become a vegetarian, I suppose. My body certainly can live off its fat storage for a while. Bring back the weight training to strengthen my legs which hurt me so. :). Running would be great if not for my involuntary two steps back, one step forward approach. Prep my oatmeal days in advance and have it ready to take to work in glass jars. Get a microwave for my closet so I can heat my oatmeal. Cut down on the coffee before work.

More than anything else, I get the feeling that I am bothering people when I talk to them. They want to talk when they have time to talk about what is on their mind, and I understand that. But sometimes I feel like I am imposing on their attention. That may even be my imagination, but I really can't tell. I certainly don't want to ask. I'm wondering if maybe I should apologize for my behavior of a few days ago. I don't think I did anything wrong, but you never know how someone else may take what you do.

Next week I'm adding a couple of extra hours to my work days. It's not so much the money (though that does help) as it is to keep myself busy and keep from bothering people. I know that when they want me around, some may let me know. I just don't like spending do much time alone with my thoughts. Those who know me best understand that I really don't need as much time as I already have to sit and think about my life. It's not a good thing. I figure out a lot of things and sometimes ignorance would indeed be better.

Keep busy, and don't bother other people so much. That's the key.

Well, I've had two of my eight glasses of water today. I think I'd better stop there, though, because drinking tons of water too fast for my body to acclimate causes it to all pool in my lower legs. :). If I slowly increase the amount, maybe my water levels will regulate themselves properly. So tomorrow, on to three glasses of water And so on.

I have a massage scheduled for tomorrow after work. Maybe that'll help clear out some of my owwies and improve my mood.

Maybe I should just put myself to sleep for the night... It's not 10:00 yet, but there is hardly a good outcome to me staying up any later.

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