As our students were outside for their required recess, I decided to exercise with them. I walked a fast mile (fast compared to them) in black pants and a black top. Sweating my makeup off. But it's okay. There's nobody for me to impress at work anyway. I just needed a little exercise for my own benefit as a slightly desperate attempt to arrest the downward slide of my general mood this week.
A couple of times I decided to test my shins by jogging a short distance. Yay, no pain. I didn't run that far though. Here's hoping that they don't get sore tonight. The stabbing shinbone pains and swelling that happen now even when I'm resting make me suspect that I' didn't have a simple case of shin splints. I've conceivably stress-fractured both tibia, and I'm afraid to go for an x-ray to see cobwebs appear in my bones.
I'm just not a bone-breaker. Never have been, really, other than a couple of toes, my collarbone, and my tailbone. And to be honest, the amount of calcium I've gotten since my last officially noted break have probably prevented several. On the other hand, quite literally, is my left thumb that continues to insist it is cracked. It shows all the signs, but it was an extraordinarily hard force that hurt it in the first place. Stupid washer door. I slammed it extra hard and felt the impact travel all the way down to the base of my thumb.
When I sat down after my short exercise today, my colleagues kindly suggested that I shouldn't be doing that particular activity without my running bra. *cringe* I hadn't even noticed, but apparently it was pretty bad. So note to self: Never jog without the UnderArmor bra. I suppose it helps keep things under control, even if it doesn't do anything for my actual shape. *sigh*
Seriously, I need a running coach. Someone to keep me motivated and understand what it is like to be in this body trying to train for running and never really dropping a pound in the process.
It irks me that people all around want to make excuses for why I should give up, like they have.
"You're too old to run." Research those old folks who run marathons better than my 5k.
"You have broad shoulders." Absolute BS - I am not "big boned" or "broad shouldered". I'm just overweight. I have fat padding my arms and the rest of me. And I want to get rid of it. Can you believe a doctor told me that? Give my "broad shoulders" a poke -- that's not bone. No sense sugarcoating it.
"You aren't running right." So how about some helpful instruction on improving my gait?
"Running is hard. I don't know why you even bother." Because it's an accomplishment, and I love to feel the wind in my hair. Cardio will mean the difference between living and becoming a zombie snack. Moving fast is a powerful feeling. I haven't forgotten that from my childhood.
Supposedly, at the five miles per day point, I will begin to lose weight. If I can get to that point. I need encouragement.