Saturday, August 11, 2012

Meralgia Paresthetica

Today the pain in my leg became really bad, though it started with a "catch" in my tailbone. The same problem I've had since I broke it when I was 19. If I'm lucky, when this happens I can brace my feet, press outward, and whatever is stuck audibly and painfully pops apart and releases what is likely a pinched nerve.

This is the first time that I've associated the numbness and electrical fire in my right thigh with breaking my tailbone all those years ago. I broke it, then ten years later the numbness set in. Eight years later the numbness has been joined by a fiery electric pain underneath the numb section of my thigh. And for the last three years, that pain has intensified enormously.

Ah, at least it isn't constant pain though. There is a bright side. :) I get a few moments of standing in the hours I have to stand every day, in which my leg is merely numb and the fire takes a short break. And it doesn't always hurt when I'm lying down. Lol. (Though it is plaguing me right now and I am in bed. Hahah. Figures.)

I'm sure there is someone at work watching with a critical eye every time I sit down during my nearly two hour stint daily in the cafeteria. It was bad enough today that if anyone had criticized me, I probably would have burst into tears and hobbled out of there in injured fury. I parked on a table for five minutes and manage to twist my leg in the hip socket in both directions, which blessedly gave me some temporary relief from the pain, though not the numbness. Still, I will take that tiny crumb for now. :). I just need to find a way to reliably twist my entire leg whenever I need to. Or maybe an assistant to hold it while I do a slow motion imitation of a roundhouse kick.

Make no mistake-- it hurts a LOT, every single day, most of the day. There's no point in telling anyone how badly it hurts. Everybody has their own aches and pains, and probably wouldn't understand just how bad mine has become because I just tough it out. I don't think there is anything else I can do, really.

Unfortunately, that irritated genitofemoral nerve connects to more than just my thigh. It branches into another area which has a high potential for problems. Hmm. Maybe it's a bigger problem than I thought.

So, the neurologist told me I have the spine of a healthy 19 year old, according to my MRI. Yay. But the problem is in my nerve. The big question is, where exactly is that troublemaking nerve trapped? He said if I lose weight, it may release the nerve, but given that it pinches in my lower spine (I think?) I wonder if being anorexically thin will even help a little bit. Not what I'm aiming for, but it's beginning to seem impossible.

He offered to prescribe painkillers which will undoubtedly cause weight gain. I politely refused because the pills wouldn't fix anything, which means I made the choice to be in near-constant pain rather than become a fat slug.

If only exercise and dieting actually made me lose weight. But I've got the old survivor metabolism that doesn't burn fat for energy. :D I'm such a lucky person, aren't I?

Silver lining: if I ever decide I want a tattoo, my thigh will be the perfect place, since it's numb most of the time anyway. LOL

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