I was thinking about how so many don't keep their word. They say they'll visit, but they never show. In the middle of the night when you have to work the next day, they say call me so you can do me a favor, then they blow you off and say they'll call back, though they never do. Sometimes they dangle some "possible" future in which they will finally pay you some attention. Or they ignore you for long stretches of time and expect you to be panting, waiting for them to beckon.
Hey, sorry to tell you this, but I don't have an on/off switch and I won't wait in a closet for the charity companionship you seem to be offering.
All of these scenarios are real, unfortunately, and they all have a common trait.
My role is apparently to provide an ego boost, because it gives the old psyche a nice stroking to believe you have someone waiting for you to drop them a few stale crumbs. Flattering, is it, to think that there is one person out there desperate for you to let them serve you?
Don't misunderstand, because complete adoration for the one I love really IS a trait of mine. I realized, finally, that when people care about you, they don't show it by using you and ignoring you. If you care about me, you'd better show it outwardly, because my interest fades quickly when I realize I'm being used once again. All I'm saying is -- prove yourself.
Don't waste time with excuses for why you are acting like a total jerk to (ha ha) protect me. Oh, doing me a favor by by being cold and distant while you spend your time with someone else?
Got it. Stick with them.
I'm fine on my own.