At the moment, I'm waiting for some whole wheat spaghetti to digest and give me some energy for my run later today. I haven't been eating right on the weekends, and I was so dog-tired last night that I passed out without getting ready for bed. I slept in my contacts.
And I had crazy dreams. The most memorable one involved me moving away and getting a new job, which I ended up hating, in a new town. (Have I ever loved a job that I moved away to get? No.) I was sharing an apartment with a completely bizarre toilet setup with some people I barely knew. I think that was my brain trying to wake me up for a bathroom visit. It didn't work.
I was in a world where nothing really worked right. Actually, I think I've been a resident of that land for about the past decade.
Yes, of course I made it to the bathroom in time. My dog took care of that wake-up call. All I can say is that I've been tired all week, but I haven't had a chance to get a decent amount of sleep due to the anxiety around my evaluation. Yeah, sure that's going to make me a better teacher.
I think that getting me some training and resources in the subject i'm teaching would do that. But I was denied when I asked. I was deliberately handicapped and then penalized for it. That's the absolute truth.
But anyway.... I'm in a slightly creative mood. On the encouragement of my friendly art teacher colleague, I have decided to make some more of Scott Stoll's creepy pumpkins. I know where I went wrong on the painting for the one that resides on my desk. It was supposed to be black base, white dry-brush then yellow and orange WASHES.
Last night I sat on my bed and turned junk-mail catalogues that were cluttering up my tiny kitchen into jack-o-lantern armatures. I COULD go ahead and start making some newspaper pulp, but I think that the pickle buckets I have so handy will give the sculptures a permanent pickled smell. No thanks, not even for the Halloween decorations I hold so dear. I think I need to start incorporating the use of a hot glue gun. I get so frustrated waiting on paste to dry and hold my details in place.
Don't worry -- I've got this. I figured out for myself how to do it when I was in the fourth grade and frustrated with my little school box. The sides were torn and the top kept falling inward. So I wadded up some tissue with glue and made a red 3d balloon on the top, added a string, and then I had a handle to pull the lid up. I was in a red phase. I also poured some red food coloring in the glue and turned mine pink. My classmates were astounded. Many years later, Elmer's starts selling colored glue. Just remember, I did it first. 1980. (And I was disappointed because I really wanted bloody red glue. LOL)
So I'm waiting for my pasta-carbs to turn into energy, and in the meantime, I still have a broken washer. It's been about a month now. Dad is going to order some parts that will come to the total of half the price of a new washer. And I'll hope that after paying over $400, that will fix the problem. If not, I know it'll become a case of "oh, but if that part ever actually DOES break, you'll have it handy. In the meantime, you bought it for nothing because the washer still won't work." And where shall I store these extra unnecessary parts (as usual) in my crackerbox of a house?
Not a freaking clue.
Have I mentioned that the much-lauded and anticipated (even by me) ios 6 has come close to bricking my iphone 4s? I can't get messages on it. Apps won't stay deleted. My music disappears. Reminders do not work. Calls don't go through. WiFi won't stay connected. Cell signals that were available before are now nonexistent. Too bad that it's the only functioning phone I have. The one in my home is almost non-functioning. I haven't heard it ring in years. But I think it does work. I activated a credit card with it last week. *sigh*
I'm not exactly hyped up for my run. How do I get to that place? It's like I have no energy right now. Hmmm. Maybe some coffee? It's been a couple of hours and I still feel sluggish. I don't have long to get energy filled. Usually my shins hurt too bad to enjoy the run, or I start gasping for air. I don't need the added challenge of no steam to run on. Maybe a little oatmeal? I dunno. Oh wait... this might be a good time to try out one of those gooey energy blocks I've kept in my running bag. It seems counterintuitive for me to be eating anything high calorie while I'm trying to lose weight by running, but I also understand that right now I'm in the process of learning to run for 30 minutes nonstop. One challenge at a time. Somewhere in the midst of this process, I may very well become able to run without gasping. I hear that it happens when you keep running. There's the one thing in my life I can look forward to at this point.
If I don't break a leg or tear something. :)
An old friend (okay, an ex-boyfriend) wants me to run a half marathon with him in the springtime. Thirteen miles? Well... let me get past the point of being able to run a mile successfully first, and then I'll talk about running thirteen. I want to. But I don't know if I can do it that fast, unless pounds start melting off of me, thereby easing the pounding on my legs.
On the other hand, running is something I can do alone, without waiting for anyone else. I just hate to be dragging in the back of the race participants. I had to keep telling myself the first time I ran a race that it was okay to come in last because I was darn well going to finish, and it was the longest distance I'd ever run in my life. Just doing it was an accomplishment.
Truly, the only fun part about running right now is watching the way my my leg muscles are changing. Starting to get a little definition in my calves... and in my thighs, which is... fine.