Sunday, September 16, 2012

Rainy Run and a Slap

Almost. The sprinkling started, but ended right after I hit the track. Now it is raining in earnest.

Well, I suppose I was put in my place tonight. Huh. I sincerely hope there was alcohol fueling that brash attitude because it was a mean thing to say to me.

I did 2 1/2 miles tonight on the track, and had a 13:26 (not sure on the seconds exactly) mile in the middle. My shins still hurt, but I made more of an effort to run flat footed. Well that's what it is when you strike mid foot.

Used the foam roller and ice packs when I got home and I'm worn out. Good thing, because if I wasn't, I'd probably give in to the tears that are threatening over getting my feelings hurt. Guess I'll just swallow it down as usual until it all seeps like a low grade illness from my pores. Who really cares how I feel but me anyway? Bueller...? Bueller...?

On the brighter side, I bought 14 new tops last night at Goody's. Finally found one store with clothes I won't mind wearing in front of other people. My sister was trying to get me to buy a pretty nightgown at the first store, but I don't see any point to it.

(I don't shop much because I don't believe I deserve to have pretty things. More often than not, there aren't any pretty things out there for me anyway. )

I'm just not feeling brave enough to let anyone see me in something more revealing than a twinset. Not after the last time. That uneasy distantness that sprang up afterward has made me really insecure. I feel fat and ugly and annoying. *sigh*

I feel safer under my rock. It's familiar, though not comfortable or pretty and it's pretty lonely.

Started off my run with "Dancing With Myself" by Billy Idol because it made me think about "Gia". Think I'll listen to some old Duran Duran. Got a rare urge to hear "Lonely in Your Nightmare".

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