Sunday, November 18, 2012

Treadmill & Trepidation

I keep having to deal with shin splints. Whether the post-run soreness grows from the backs of my calves, or the insides of my shins, it always goes on to develop into aching shin bones. So far, this round of C25K has progressed into week six almost successfully, before the soreness and pain became (for me) debilitating. I've been doing all sorts of stretching and strengthening exercises and not getting better running results. It doesn't lessen the days of DOMS either, and I know that's muscle repair time.

I know myself ; if I have to stop working on this for a while, I'll quit altogether. Daily (or alternating days) progress is what keeps me trying. But then the pain knocks me down again.

I get very depressed when I can't keep going with my running. I've had to drop down to one day a week of trying to run, because of recovery time. Yah, I know I'm heavy for high-volume running, but I haven't consistently been able to run 5k anyway, and I haven't pushed myself to try except for that last race I was in.

I came in last, for several reasons. 1. I wasn't at their level of fitness, and most were simply faster than me. (I didn't see any overweight runners participating, to be honest) 2. I started out way too fast, just to keep up with the crowd. Wore myself out early. 3. The truck passed me before I got halfway and stayed ahead of me the rest of the race -- the truck that brings up the rear. Total mental defeat for me. 4. I was wishing anybody in my family had come to cheer me on, and I knew they wouldn't. The race was a two minute drive from everyone in my family, but ...

So, outclassed, overexerted, and defeated, I came in last but managed my best 1 k, 1 mile, and 5 k finish times despite all that. I finished my best yet, just worse than everyone else. Less than 200 participants, I believe.

I'm still fighting that defeated feeling, and it was a month ago.

I'm running to lose weight, because I've tried lots of approaches (with doctor guidance) and only strenuous cardio kicks my metabolism into fat burning mode. When I started C25k, I managed to drop a couple of pounds a week. Then shin splints hit and I had trouble walking. *sigh*. I took a month off to heal and started over. Got to week six eight weeks later and here I go again.

Elliptical... YES, I got back on the elliptical, and the next day I had... Wait for it... Shin splints. Oh, and numb feet. Lol. Both of my shoes were laced loosely.

My running on this attempt had been on a rubber track outside for the cushion factor. Maybe that why I got all the way to six weeks before I had to stop. I was enjoying the great outdoors, even in the cold and wind.

So... Should I even attempt to do my extremely slow running on the treadmill, for short total distances, and see if my shin splints are still a huge problem doing that? And then slowly add tiny bits of distance

I feel as if I'm heading for a wheelchair, instead of weight loss. Could it be that the time-based C25k program I'm using isn't right for me? I did get up to running ten minutes with a three minute walk break but by then my shins are starting t o really hurt. True, the calf muscles feel the impact and have the predictable response of tightening right after I run until i stretch them out, but nothing that feels wrong. Just that I challenged them and they met the challenge.

I love running when it goes well, and I'd like to keep it up at least every other day (for the rest of my life) but I feel like I've tripped over my own feet right out of the starting gate, since May when I really put my effort into my pathetic beginner's training. And I'll admit that I've been dreaming of being able to run a marathon... In a few years, of course.

Right now I'd just like to master a 5k.

I have diet/exercise controlled type 2 Diabetes, which never really gives me a problem than the occasional hypoglycemia bout, and great medical test results on everything, including my heart and lungs. Goes without saying I've never been a smoker, but I know there are a few smoker runners out there. I'm just not one. It makes me a bit jealous when I see people with more than 40 pounds to lose doing so much better than me on their running. *sigh*

I'm signed up for a 3.5 mile Turkey Trot Thanksgiving morning, which I'm going to absolutely WALK, though that hurts while I'm doing it (outsides of calves).

I do not know if I should also sign up for year two of the Turkey Trot I did last year - my first 5 k ever. It's on Saturday. Hey, I could start a streak... Or I could come in last again and increase my mental defeat.

For those who swear I will be able to run a marathon in March? Are you freaking kidding me? You will be carrying me across the finish line... I can't lie and say "I'm not fat, I'm big-boned." I might pass as "medium-boned" but I am certainly overweight and my little leg bones are stressed. I already know I won't make it 26.2 miles under my own steam. Not yet. Maybe in a few years, after three miles stops threatening to rip the muscles away from my shinbones, eh?

I think I'll stick with a less extreme progression: 5k, 10k, half-marathon, marathon, attempt to skip the crutches and physical therapy. How's that?

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