Sunday, December 30, 2012

Hormones and Paint Fumes

Because hormones and paint fumes haven't done enough to make me so dizzy I can't walk, I'm gonna take a hydrocodone.

I've had a migraine for four days. It coincided with monthly hormones, so I think they are to blame. Thanks for the hand-in-hand dizziness, by the way. My life is so lovely.

Because I already had a migraine, I gave my sister and nephew a hand with painting last night. Two rooms. It took hours. I figured I couldn't get any dizzier so the paint fumes weren't likely to hurt.

On the other hand, I am serious about wanting my loaned painting supplies back. YES, really.

I need to go to the gym and renew my membership. Ha! I was NOT a Januarian. I started with a six month membership in June 2011. Then I renewed it for a year in December and it's time again. I have goals to meet, but not resolutions. Resolutions are something you drop by the end of January.

However, it is Sunday, and I don't believe anyone is there to renew it for me today.

I haven't been to the gym in a couple of weeks. The truth is, I was feeling the signs of physical exhaustion and the last week of school butted right against Christmas Eve (I had ONE day off before Christmas to finish everything. ONE. ) And then my dog was attacked and that took away the few precious hours before the newly-rescheduled a day early family Christmas stuff. so I spent a lot of afternoons and evenings working frantically on my father's gift -- a large crocheted blanket. When I took a break from working on it, I simply passed out where I was for several hours.

Exhaustion. The last Sunday, I woke up feeling hung over, but with no alcohol involved. Headache, nausea, dizziness, sore and actually hurting all over. Not quite flu symptoms, but when I asked the pros on a running forum I frequent, they said I'm doing too much, going by my workout log. Some advised me to take the day for rest, some advised a week. My shin splints were ramping up on my again anyway, even on days I wasn't running. I inadvertently took over a week. Now it's time to go back. No need to feel guilty. People who have the flu have to take a week anyway.

For those of you that don't know, I may make crocheting a blanket look easy (or not -- I'm often treated with disdain over that), but in reality it takes over a month to make one and $60+ in materials alone. Oh, that's before anyone demands they want one much larger than the others I've made.

I'm just ONE old maid, sorry. You'll get what you get, if you get anything. :). I love you.

I didn't get finished with the blanket in time. I gave it unfinished, and took it back home to finish it, but that sort of situation is always received as if you stiffed the person for a gift altogether. There's no magic spell that crochets blankets. It's absolutely labor-intensive. I get burned out.

It may be that my view of Christmas 2012 is dark and painful because of what happened to my dog. It absolutely ruined my holiday, and his too. I kept him pumped full of pain meds.

I don't feel as if I really pleased anyone with their gifts, though I did actually put a lot of thought and effort into theirs. Hey, I could have given everyone a gift card and not been stressed out by Christmas. But I didn't. My sister and I were the only ones who shopped. Next year everybody may just get a gift card from me too. No stress, and I'll save about 75%. Let's just depersonalize the whole thing.

Actually, I could just go and do all of my 2013 Christmas shopping today and get it over with. Just go to Wal-Mart and get everyone a gift card. Bam! I beat everybody on do-ahead shopping! Yeah buddy!

Don't misunderstand, I appreciated my gifts, but Christmas was rather poisoned for me this year, in many ways. It's like my birthday. I'd just rather ignore the day than have to hear dozens of times that my birthday is so wonderful because its Valentine's Day. Normal people have great V Days. Mine is usually no big deal, if it is even remembered. It was this year. I'll be eligible to donate blood again on my birthday next year, and that will be just about appropriate to validate my self-worth.

I'm going to use my woman's mystique card and blame that bitter little snarkfest on my pain and hormone hurricane. Anytime you want to kick in, hydrocodone, you just feel free. Oh, you're a little out of date? Figures. I could always take another one, I suppose.

Maybe I should do what that article "6 Harsh Truths That Will Make You a Better Person" says and spend my time working to help others. I noticed that I had two pairs of Reeboks in my closet that were brand new. I'd bought them on clearance and realized too late they are just too small for my feet. I thought I'd drop them off at Goodwill, but on the other hand, they might make a decent gift for a needy student at my school. I think that would be better than Goodwill, in this case. I wish we still had a Goodwill store, though. None of the donations currently benefit our community. They go elsewhere to be sorted, cleaned, and resold.

(Language Warning - it does say harsh) I support the notion that saying you'll pray for someone and do nothing concrete is useless. It's a lazy person's out that makes them feel so piously validated. Pray, yes, but what are you going to DO to help? God may do the work for you if you pray hard enough. Okay, I see why that is appealing. But what if what God wants is for us to get up off our lazy behinds and DO something? Make those good intentions actually bear fruit? Can you call yourself a friend when you never have anything to do with a person, and very publicly snub them? I suppose so, if you define friendship by how many friends you have on Facebook.

Shades of a well-known joke:

Two Boats and a Helicopter

Once there was a man whose house was in a flood. He stood on the porch as the waters rose. A boat came by, the driver urged the man to get on board but the man said he was waiting on the Lord to save him. The waters rose, the first floor was flooded and as the man looked out his second story window, another boat came to rescue him. The man turned the boat away, saying he would wait for God to rescue him. Finally he was clinging to the chimney on the roof. A helicopter flew overhead and dropped down a ladder. The man waved it off, saying Jesus would save his life. Finally he was swept away in the waters and drowned. At the pearly gates, he saw God and said, Lord, all my life I did as you asked but when the time came you did not save me. And God said, "I sent you two boats and a helicopter, what else did you want?"

(This version copied from

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