Monday, January 21, 2013

Motivationally Mired

I've got to go to the gym. TODAY. While I'm off work and can get something done without an audience.

So I'm sitting here eating a bowl of oatmeal and raw honey that I don't really want, because I know I'll need the carbs later. I was doing great on the mornings I supervised the walkers before school, energy-wise, because I brought oatmeal to eat while I watched. Then it got too cold and that stopped, along with my motivation to eat oats.

I've been recovering from my bronchitis, and I think cardio might be okay now. (My 5k in two weeks is going to suck.). With time off comes insecurity. "What was I thinking, believing I could run and change my body? Really? Nothing has worked so far. Nobody's looking at me anyway." Okay, that one guy at the gym smiled at me a few weeks ago, after a year and a half of seeing me there. Doesn't mean anything, unless I just gave him a laugh.

I finally tried on my new running clothes after unblocking the mirror.

UnderArmour fitted running capris - nice, but I wanted the pink striped ones too. These make me look slimmer than I am. Iiiiiii will alwayyyyys love youuuuuuu..... :) (why was I scared of fitted ones?) I must get more... I wonder if their shorts work this well? I need shorts that NEVER ride up.

Zensah shin compression sleeves in neon pink - wow. They gloooow. I should be visible to drivers when I wear them, if I can ever conquer my fear of running on roads.

Zensah arm compression sleeves - neon pink. Well, gotta match! I put one on and I swear it felt like an electric massage under my skin. I guess I am the target audience for such items, because they work on me. I wear my shin sleeves every day for cafeteria duty, and I can tell a difference. There's just one problem with the arm sleeves - my biceps are fat, and the top band shows that. Yikes.

Zensah seamless running shirts - green, okay. Pink, yikes. It's a dusty rose, a bit sheer, and showcases my rolls too well. Black - awesome! They fit snugly and come down over my butt, which is great. The black makes me look slimmer. These were $40 shirts, on clearance for $9.99 each, or I never would have tried them.

Of course, I'm wearing the black to the gym. The pink will not be seen in close quarters while I look like this.

Reebok running tank - blue / green Spirograph looking pattern... Makes my breasts look like a flat wall. Lol It will be okay. If that was all it took to make my boobs vanish, I'd buy out the stock.

I thought of something while I was looking at myself in the black gear with insecure eyes. If I could see a photo of myself slimmed down, would that keep me motivated? I need to Photoshop myself so that I can see potential results. It's really a simple thing for me to do. I've just got to snap that picture and then doctor it in stages to see what the possibilities are.

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