Saturday, January 5, 2013

Welcome to My Wall *bonk*

First, a disclaimer:
I was my fault, and I was really stupid today. I blame my disordered eating -- I'm scared to eat and it kills my appetite often. (Which is my fault too.) I didn't eat enough. I started the day with two cups of milk, made into lattes. A few hours later I had three scrambled eggs with a wedge of Laughing Cow cheese. And then I waited on the repair guy to get here until it was dark. Several hours of not enough fuel and then I went to the gym. I had a G Prime pouch and a half a pack of Clif Shot Bloks on the way.

Today was the day for my 35 minute run - the longest I've ever run. The end of my Couch to 5k program. A milestone.

Well, I tripped over that milestone and the road almost rose up to hit me in the face.

I was going at a very easy pace - only 3.6 on the treadmill. At this point I'm working on endurance rather than speed. I should have been able to do it.

Maybe I should have taken another rest day and cross trained instead. Maybe I should have been eating better in the hours since my previous run to replenish my glycogen stores. (Oh, ya think?!?)

Halfway through, I was struggling. My concentration was wandering, almost desperately. I felt absolutely fatigued. I kept checking my timer. I finished the Clif Bloks with water and took a few walk breaks in my run, which disappointed me greatly. So darn tired. Sweating crazily... I mean, sweat was dripping off the sides of my face and my hair was drenched, and I don't usually sweat my clothes damp, but my clothes were soaked. I finished the time, running slowly as much as I could, but my brain defeated me and my hand kept slowing the speed down before I even realized what I was doing.

I took my time on the strength machines, which was easy, because I'm one of the few people in town working out on a Friday night instead of being out on a date. Abs, arms, chest, shoulders. Lots of machines I just hate. Hahaha. I make my jokes about leg day, but I would rather do those exercises any day.

I weighed myself, though I swore I wouldn't, and I've lost two pounds. Surely that came from the extra miles on the treadmill? I'm just trying to get more miles on my legs and feet, to make them stronger.

Then I got my second wind and decided to stretch my legs out with a very easily-paced 2.5 mile walk. But I got hungry. And then I started feeling the warning trembles (and blurry vision) of dropping blood sugar. Plans to make a peanut butter & plain yogurt protein smoothie (after a grocery shopping expedition) dissolved abruptly when I realized I wasn't going to make it to the store and back home again.

So I made a side trip to grab something carby and quick while the world was swimming in front of me, hoping I wouldn't pass out. Made it home to a cold house, turned on a space heater in the bedroom, and got my shivering self under the covers where I passed out for a couple of hours.

I know. Don't lecture me. I've lived with hypoglycemia / Type 2 Diabetes over 20 years now. I'm handling it.

When I started waking up, I was thinking how pleasantly womb-warm and cuddly the room was. Quincy was snuggled beside me with his legs splayed to catch a breeze on his tummy. I showered, and got my gym clothes in for washing. That's why I'm up so late. Gotta wait for the load to finish so I can hang everything up to dry.

Today I decided I've had absolutely enough of washing and wearing the same pair of UnderArmour running tights, and ordered myself a new set of clothes. Capris, shirts, leg and arm compression sleeves, socks. I hesitate to buy a lot in this size because I'm hoping that I can get to a smaller size before dropping another $70 on a pair of tights.

Yes, they have been worth what I paid for them. I like the way the UAs are made, how they fit, and especially how they look on me. They give me reassurance that I'm doing the right thing. They make me feel kinda like Catwoman. :D. Yeah. Shut up.

They hide the fact that I'm pasty and pale under my clothes. Lol I'll get some color on me this year, I promise. My calves are shaping up visibly, so maybe my thighs are in there somewhere. Besides, come spring, I'll be running outside and have to switch back to tanks and shorts, no matter what I look like.

If you want to offer advice, here's what I need advice on: meals with NO exotic ingredients, that can be prepared ahead and possibly frozen, that will meet my nutritional needs. Not prepackaged stuff. Recipes I can cook. I don't mind doing some batch cooking, but I just don't have time after a long day of work to cook a good meal from scratch, digest it, and get to the gym without disrupting my sleep schedule. Mmmkay? ;)

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