Sunday, February 3, 2013

Day 2, With Sleep

:)

I went to bed last night at 10:02. Yes, it was a Saturday night, and I'm single, and that was the best I could do for a fun night. :P.

I was a little tired, having been to a Fifty Shades of Grey party earlier. We had some laughs, but I think most of the humor was lost on the attendees because few had read the book. The three of us that had, got into a discussion about who should play Christian in the movie. Ian Somerhalder. Pretty unanimous there. Lol. Watch him on The Vampire Diaries. He's already got the basic character pretty much down, minus a few specific tweaks for Christian that aren't part of Damon's character anyway.

I tried some pheromone perfume, just out of curiosity. On my sister, it smelled like a lovely perfume.

On me, it smelled like a fruit salad, I kid you not. Lol. Melon, pears, pineapple. So... I guess I should be looking for a man who loves to eat. Or something. No wonder nobody wants to date me. It's just weird.

So, getting to sleep last night wasn't easy. I tried lying there still and quiet, in various positions. Somehow, I couldn't quite drop off. I was stuck in limbo.

Here's what finally worked, sometime before 11 pm:

Making myself cold in my cold bedroom
Playing thunderstorm ambient sounds
5 mg Melatonin

Normally, it isn't that easy.

I had some very detailed and colorful dreams about going back to work in the mall, which had somehow gained a second floor with some really interesting shops. I was back in the music store, which was vastly upgraded from when I'd left. Vinyl records were making a comeback, and the color scheme was a blend of the dark blue it had been when I started there at the age of 16, and the grey it was remodeled to a couple of years later.

I think my brain was providing me with a way to spend some time with someone I've really been missing, who used to work there with me. I got to spend a tiny bit of real time with him during the summer. The few people I confided in that I hope he liked me (I know, I'm pretty pathetic, but hoping for more than "like" has always made a fool out of me. It's asking for too much.) told me not to get my hopes up. Family members were so kind as to tell me outright to forget it because there's no way he would ever really like me. They were right.

So in my dreams I get to have brief conversations with the people who won't have anything to do with me in real life, and sometimes it feels like I've committed some kind of theft in doing it. I didn't talk to him in this dream. I was scared, so I kept my distance and just did my job, just like I do when I'm awake.

If I really didn't have any standards, all it would take for me to "get a man" would be to walk into a local bar and pass around a copy of my bank statement. I don't live beyond my means, I save, and I'm not a spendthrift. Any number of local broke, user-type rednecks would just love to glom onto me, if they knew. Lol They'd allow me to cook and clean for them in my own house while I paid all the bills for them, naturally. Sharing? They'd gladly share whatever STDs they had picked up from all their bar and bedhopping. Do you understand why that type of relationship holds zero appeal for me? No thanks. I've heard stories that some of them never even wash their bedding.

Sometimes, alone is just better.

I woke up after nine and a half hours of sleep, and I can tell that I slept well. :) The sun is goldenly shining and it's not so frigid outside. Despite the sad tint of previous paragraphs, it could be a really cheerful sort of day. Nothing hurt, until I got out of bed, of course. Hahaha. The backs of my knees are so sore I'm still walking like I have braces on them.

No, it isn't my knees. It's the top of the calf muscle, where it connects just under the backs of my knees. Apparently, when I thought the cross ramp elliptical wasn't doing anything, it was doing something to an area that normally doesn't see much action.

I'm just suffering delayed onset muscle soreness from it. I don't know how to make it move on. Walking? Elliptical? I look like an idiot walking stiff-legged. As you do. As I do. Well, whatever. :) I'm the one with the sore legs. I guess I should have taken the warnings seriously, about gradually getting back into your exercise routine after you've been sick with bronchitis. Maybe this week I can add another day at the gym without compromising my ability to participate in Saturday's 5k. And then next week, another day, until I'm back to 6 days with heavy cardio.

Yes, I punish myself at the gym, just for being me, but nobody else wants to do it. Lol

I feel that there is something to this adequate sleep notion after all. Maybe I'm just lucky that I feel well early this morning. (It was early when I woke up to sweet doggy kisses.)

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