Monday, February 25, 2013

Day After Day

Just got the unofficial accusation that I'm cheating on my mile recording. Like I really need yet another slap in the face today regarding my fitness. I'm about ready to just quit the "team" because, after being told to "get more miles!" I rose to the challenge and added TEN MILES of sweaty resistance biking to my day.

I'm doing a lot of exercising. A lot. About 33 minutes on the elliptical, 45 minutes to an hour of weightlifting & resistance training. Then ten miles on the bike. I've done 1.75 miles on the treadmill when my shin splints don't cripple me.

Then I get told that my bike miles don't get full credit. It feels like I'm being called a cheater.

I'm doing all this work, trying to eat clean, drink tons of water, and my weight doesn't noticeably change.

Then people insinuate that I'm a liar. Like I'm not doing what I say. Like I'm not choking down blueberries (I don't like them) and Greek yogurt (it tastes like sour cream) and unsweetened oatmeal made with nothing but water and cinnamon. Apples. Apples and other fruit coming out my ears. Raw vegetables (even though they upset my stomach.) I can't even finish all the food I'm supposed to be eating.

Do you have ANY idea how miserable it is to do all of this and see no changes, day after day? I have zero support, no help, and a metabolism gone haywire.

This old maid is really tired of the fight. After all is said and done, I'll still be overweight, alone, and loathing everything about myself. There's just nothing worthwhile left.

Nothing works right in this old body. I'm obviously a mutant, so I guess it's a good thing I can't have children and spread my creepiness.

It's obviously natural selection at its finest.

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