Sunday, March 17, 2013

Chronic Nerve Pain

I have killed my running shoes! I'm certain of this because I'm feeling the arch supports press achingly into my admittedly high arches whenever I wear them.

I just can't believe that it took me only six months to destroy them, because they still appear quite presentable and only the lower outer edges look worn.

However, the feel inside is now a different matter. I can't stop walking on the outsides of my feet (major supination problem), and I hurt whenever I walk. From the soles of my feet aching upon first standing, to the achy shinbone points, to my electrical-burn sensations running through my thighs, up through my painful hips, and into my lower back, something has gone dreadfully wrong.

We were shopping in Nassau, and the pain intensified so quickly that my vision became all wavery and I though I was going to faint. Really and truly drop to the floor... It wasn't even hot in Nassau, nor was it humid. I hadn't even walked that much, but my nerve pain took over. It felt like I'd been hooked up to a car battery and given a nonstop jolt.

I really don't know how anybody can live with this much pain on a daily basis, and I know that some suffer worse every day. Yikes. It brought tears to my eyes, I'll tell you that much.

A lady in front of me saw me gasping, clutching my thigh with my eyes squeezed shut, and sympathized that she suffers from a similar neuropathy, and knows how it only gets worse, never better. I'm glad she was there to validate why I had tears in my eyes. I was feeling like the sole victim of the Inquisition's torturers.

What if all the exercising I've been doing is just aggravating the problem? In other words, I may end up with a buff body, and no desire to do anything ever again than to lie in a hospital bed pumped full of morphine until I die.

It's morbid, but it's true. I'm hoping that with weight loss will come a lessening of the pressure on the offending nerves. I don't want to be dependent on pain medication.

Besides, I'm working on having a decent looking backside. So far it hurts every time I use my glutes to lift, but I'm seeing results, so I don't want to quit now.

I just want the pain to stop.

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