Time for a little truth...
I haven't eaten supper all week until tonight. I've been depressed (ok, I still am) and I had to sleep, which made me miss dinner. Plus, I didn't want to eat. But tonight I was out of milk for my coffee, and more importantly, out of cat food for the new mommy, so I had to trek out and spend a crazy amount on cat food, dog food, and chewwie bones. Someone suggested pizza, so I got pizza and beer, and hangers, which I'm always short of lately. Hm. Strange. I also bought some crazily multicolored yarn because I'm going to make an insane hat to wear the next time we have hat day, or I feel like role playing, whichever comes first.
Nah....I'd get a long wig for that. Forget I said that.
Okay, actually, he was suggesting vodka and cranberry juice along with leftover spaghetti, but that sounded disgusting to me. He mentioned frozen pizza, and a few other unappealing activities, and I decided I could have lousy frozen pizza and beer home alone rather than anything else. Some people just don't have a clue how to comfort you when you're down, but they'll be glad to prey on you while you're defenseless. Home alone with my puppy is always preferable.
I got some Redd's Apple Ale. :). Tasty stuff. I'm not sure what beverage category it falls under, but I liked it. Me drinking a beer on an empty stomach is an instant room spinner. Lol. Did I ever mention what a low tolerance I have? It's kinda funny. And useful. But anyway.... Just consider me relaxed.
I'm glad that this doesn't make me feel anything other than giddy, because I've done enough crying this week already. Over whom? Well, there's only the one, and he didn't offer me leftover spaghetti. Just an extended wait and confusion over details I'm probably not supposed to know, but there it all is on Facebook, taking sharp little bites out of my heart. I've loved him for so many years, and I don't know how he feels about that. I know how I feel though. Every missed opportunity to reassure me hurts terribly.
Another truth: I just did what could conceivably be my final real bus duty of the year. I paid $80 in a silent auction for another teacher to sub for me in May, and I already feel that my money was well spent. Lol I just dislike bus duty that much I'm willing to pay someone else to do it. And I did. :)
Further truth : I'm a little distantly (as in, I can't connect to the feeling right now) annoyed at myself for forgetting to buy toilet paper while I was shopping. I still have two rolls, but I really prefer to keep a stash of twelve rolls. Excessive toilet paper use and excessive toilet seat sitting... Two things my father gets totally aggravated about, as if I intentionally overuse resources... Until I remind him about the differences in female toileting procedures. Lol. Ever see a 77 year old man turn redfaced with embarrassment? It's pretty funny. ;)
Still dreadfully depressed but momentarily distracted...