Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Insulin Resistance & Impossible Weight Loss

Now how could I have forgotten that twelve years ago, my doctor told me I am insulin resistant?

Well, for one thing, he didn't want to put a record of that diagnosis in my medical records "until he had to, so that insurance wouldn't be able to say I had a pre-existing condition. " In the meantime, he told me to cut all carbs from my diet, and that if I wanted to lose weight and keep it off, the ONLY thing that would work would be to run five miles a day, every day, for the rest of my life. (Because he does and he has been thin all of his life.). I'll vet he doesn't know there is a link, because he likely hasn't updated his education in forty freaking years.

Yeah, that makes sense. Well, I wanted to run because I like to run, and so far, it hasn't made me lose weight. Nothing really has. But I came across this article today and realized that may explain my general tiredness no matter what I eat or how much I exercise, muscle fatigue, effortless weight gain when I'm eating very carefully. It also explains my psychotically high triglycerides.

2 years ago, I had to go for a mass blood screening when our health insurance was changed. All of my results were good - fasting blood sugar (it usually is, because I have reactive hypoglycemia), blood pressure, heart rate. But when they measured my triglycerides, the screener totally freaked out. She said the machine stops registering past 650, and my results were off the chart. Meaning, I was a walking corpse with frosting for blood. She got another machine, in case hers was broken. Again way past 650.

So I hit the gym and cut fat and high carb stuff out of my diet and got it down to 350. Still high, but a major improvement. I still wasn't losing weight, despite my three HOURS of daily gym work -weights, three rounds of cardio. Everything was swimming in my vision each day when I left. I thought if they could get great weight loss results that way on The Biggest Loser, surely a bit of that would work for me. After all, it's ALL ABOUT CALORIES, RIGHT? And of course, if you don't lose weight, you must be a gluttonous lazy pig, because strenuous daily exercise and near starvation are GUARANTEED TO WORK FOR EVERYONE.

Oh the hell with that. It's not true unless you are a perfectly normal human. Throw in a family history of diabetes and a doctor who refuses to follow through on his diagnosis (he forgot my name during an exam and tried to get me to say I had changed my name to cover up his screw up with my records -- even charged me for being a "new patient" when he's been treating me for twenty years. Wtf indeed.), and you have a situation like mine, which makes me feel I'm trapped in a nightmare where things work for other people, but absolutely fail for me, mysteriously, for no apparent reason.

But now it is starting to make sense. It doesn't make me feel as if I'm going to win this battle with my weight, but thank God I've never really had to deal with insatiable hunger or thirst. I'm not an overeater. I'm not a lazy sloth. But I am insulin resistant, and now I have a few things to try. Messing with my protein / carb balance is going to create a problem though... Ammonia sweat. Eww. I guess I'll have to deal with it and be more carnivorous.

See? It's hormonal after all.... So I'm gonna start sleeping more... If I don't start to spontaneously combust in the middle of the night. And one more thing -- you'd better love me as I am and stop nagging me about my weight. It's making me angry and unforgiving.

Disclaimer: These problems began when I was a 20 year old, 120 pound college student.  Not a bad weight for a female 5'5" tall.  I was also playing racquetball, walking all over campus, taking weightlifting, and hydrobics, and working two jobs while being a full time student.  Affording groceries was difficult. So you might want to rethink the assumption that I caused this by overeating and being lazy.  Lol.  Undereating and stretching myself too thin were the culprits.  Cheers.  ;)

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