Sunday, April 7, 2013

Unscratchable Itch

Even though it gives me a wheezy cough I just can't shake, weeklong sore throat, and a stuffy head, the thing I hate most about my allergies is the itching. When it starts, it's just at the end of my nose. Spend a lot of time rubbing my nose trying to stop the maddening itch I can't reach. As the problem progresses, my entire sinus cavity starts itching, right behind my face. Again, there's nothing I can do about it except take my usual sinus meds and hope I'll be able to breathe AND sleep simultaneously.

But that isn't the worst part. The worst part comes when the itching has progressed into a bronchial infection. Not only am I coughing hard, wheezing, and hearing sticky stuff rattling around inside my lungs, the itching has reached my bronchial tubes, which manifests as a deepset itching under the skin of my shoulders and my chest.

I blame the Bradford pear trees. They're all over my neighborhood and even in my front yard. The moment those blossoms appear, I'm a mess until they're gone. Spring came in so frigidly this year I think the blossoms are going to stay on the trees extra long just prove they can. Drop already! Give me some leaves and leave off with the pollen already!

I had some weird dreams last night. I took Zzzquil because I really wanted to sleep, and it *kept* me asleep and entertaining myself with strangeness. I'm not even sure what order the dreams came, but I think that the cruise dream came first.

My sister and I were about to get off a cruise ship, and she had the idea that if we stayed on the ship until it left the dock, they'd have to find us a room and we could go on another cruise. I, on the other hand, was nagging her into packing her stuff. Nagging, browbeating, and yelling at her to get her stuff packed. It didn't work. She had a RIDICULOUS amount of stuff she'd brought with her! Quilts, winter clothes, pillows, sheets, weeks of clothes, toys for her kids. Then she'd gone shopping and bought more stuff, but no extra luggage to carry it home in. (Some of this really happened, though, not to this extent. She's generous with souvenirs, and I overdo it with the details in my imagination. Lol)

Her idea was to stow away and get a free cruise; I told her we would be arrested. Turns out that the next cruise was full of politicians. President Clinton was there, and i have no idea why I would put him in a dream. The funny part was that all the people getting off the boat or getting on the boat had to meet in a room that was exactly like my old middle school auditorium. Nothing elegant about that. Not even flashy and tacky. It felt like the church in the last episode of Lost, actually. We were all stuck there.... Waiting on something. Maybe the next cruise with the politicians was going to sink and that's why we had to get off the boat. I think I ended up leaving her there out of frustration. There was no way I was going to tote her excess baggage for her THIS time. Leave it there or carry your own damn stuff. (Maybe I was releasing some of my previously held tension.) Hey, I have enough baggage of my own without taking care of someone else's.

The next part of the dream, I was walking through Fairview Cemetery, using a new app to find my grandparents' graves. (Okay, and my brother's, and a bunch of other dead relatives I'd been searching for.) Sunny and quiet place with a lot of headstones missing. I was walking around lost and confused in the graveyard. When I got to the top of the hill at the back, which used to border the county fairgrounds, the fence was gone. But when I turned to look at the cemetery again, I saw that it was now three layers deep. The first layer where my family was buried was about thirty feet underground and looked like the inside of a deep cave. As the years went by and they ran out of room in the cemetery, they had just piled tons of dirt on top, and compacted the previous levels deep underground. I knew there was no way I'd find the graves I was looking for then. I was too afraid to go in there.

The last part was a chore just trying to get into my neighborhood and go home. These scummy looking people were holding hands in double lines, blocking the road. I wasn't in my car though. I was jogging. At first I though it was some fundraiser drive for charity and planned to give them some money, because they had both entry roads blocked and I just wanted to go home. When I asked them what they were doing, they said one of their buddies wanted to fix up his truck but didn't have the money, so they decided that all his neighbors should pay for it for him. And nobody was getting through until they gave them all of their money. I gave them five dollars, and they tried to rob me. That's when i decided to just go visit my Dad for a while instead of going home.

:) Yeah, weird. I'm sure there's a lot of political symbolism in that set of dreams, and I don't want to examine it too closely anyway. Lots of the "just being used for what you have", abandonment, being the outsider looking in, being lost and confused. Daytime reality intruding on my world of nighttime illusions. Abandonment... Well, when they drop the conversation, it often gives you the answer to a lot of questions you wanted to ask. Let them go... And lock the door behind them, because nothing ever changes for the better in that situation.

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