Saturday, June 15, 2013

Smothered by Tomatoes

I am afraid I'm going to be smothered by tomato plants.  I already had two, and Dad just called to say he has left me three more plants at my sister's house.  If you are not in on the reality of this situation, let me enlighten you.  

Every summer my dad grows 6 tomato plants, and every summer and fall, we all have plenty of tomatoes.  I like tomatoes, but I always get more than I can use.  I eat so many of them to make Dad happy that I get ulcers in my mouth and have to eat antacids like there is no tomorrow. If there is one thing I can't handle, it's the expectation that I eat several large tomatoes a day when I have such bad heartburn I'm always on the verge of throwing up.  

I can only eat so many.  I never really want more than one a day, and usually not that one.  Now I'll have as many as Dad always has before he shares them with us... all to myself.

I'm afraid. I'm nearly terrified.  I don't even have a place to put them once they start ripening, and I did NOT need a new set of pets to have to baby every day of the summer.  This is why I bought a soaker hose.  And thanks to the wonder of Miracle Gro soil, I have a flowerbed full of happily growing grass seed.  Forget the flowers. I had to have some place to plant the tomatoes fast or face the wrath of Dad.  

Now I have more than doubled the number of plants, against my will.  And he's already telling me everything I've done wrong, am doing wrong currently, and will do wrong in growing these tomatoes.  Maybe it's about feeling powerful and superior, I don't know.  

I do know that I'm going to have to learn to can spaghetti sauce, pizza sauce, and tomato sauce.  Where I'll keep the jars, I have NO FREAKING IDEA!  Not only does my pathetic kitchen not have counter space to work on anything (unless you count doing EVERYTHING right on top of the stove burners), there's no place to store dozens of extra jars of tomato products.  I'm tempted to dry all the tomatoes and just eat them for snacks.  

I feel like I'm being bullied with damn tomatoes.

Disclaimer: I love my Dad very much and I'm glad he's sharing his tomatoes with me, but sometimes I'm prone to panic in the height of tomato season.

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