Tuesday, June 11, 2013

This is the Men's Room!

"Where's the Toilet?" - Casey 

Line from a favorite cheesy 80s movie of mine.  "My Chauffeur".  I watched it because it had Sam Jones in it, and I've drooled over him since I saw him in Flash Gordon in 4th grade.  He made me forget all about Superman's dark hair and intense eyes there for a little while, but I went back to my love of dark-haired men eventually. (It's currently on Netflix, if you want to see it.)

I got a similar response last night at the gym.  I'd done my tanning, done my cardio, and done the back and ab machines and the triceps extension machine.  Up to 65 pounds on that one, yay.  I still don't think that twisted crunch machine works on me but the torso rotation one feels like its a second away from twisting my back horribly every time I use it.  

So I thought I'd work on my biceps as well, and started looking for the dumbbells I knew I could handle.  The 15 pound ones.  Yes, I know.  But I'm a girl and I've already said I have no upper body strength.  

Couldn't find them on the very empty rack in the room where I was working, so I headed into the free weights section.  You could just about hear necks creaking and crickets chirping as I walked over.  One guy gave me a seriously surprised look and even turned around to see where I was going.  

Um, just to get some dumbbells, fella.  Nearly every one was over there.  Hey, full length mirrors too, so I could watch my form.  Yeah, that's helpful.  

See, I could use the bicep curl machine in the other room, but I can't keep my shoulders from moving, no matter how careful I am, and it seems like I put all of my energy into gripping the handles.  When I'm done, my shoulders are aching like ... They did all the work.  I know what you're thinking.  I DID get a trainer to show me the proper way to do it and she couldn't help me keep my shoulders still either.  I think it would take someone holding my shoulders still for me in order to do it right. 

And I just can't find any guys at the gym who seem willing to restrain me.  ;). Jk.

Anyway,  I was watching in the mirror for my sister to come back in, and I noticed that three men stared at me the whole time I was doing my curls.  They literally stopped what they were doing over in Sausage World and stared.  Maybe I was doing something wrong.  Maybe they considered it their turf. Maybe they were wondering why I could only handle 15 pounds. Lol. 

Maybe they noticed that my snug running capris have started getting a little baggy on me.  I did.  I've lost four inches so far this summer break.  It's probably the juice, and I'm okay with that. I'm thrilled with that, actually.  I've lost 8 pounds with no exercising, but I've hit a plateau.   (I'm trying to change a permanent metabolic "starvation mode" my body seems to be locked in. It's evil.  Basically, it's like this: you get sick with the flu, you lose ten pounds, like it or not.  I got the flu and became dehydrated and couldn't eat for three days.  I gained FIVE pounds.) I eat every now and then, but I'm not having a hard time staying with the juicing because some of that juice is really tasty.  And healthy.  I just don't want to EAT a lot of green stuff.  

So I guess it's means I've lost my power of invisibility if I head over to the grunting section.  I'll admit I made a few ugly faces on those last few reps because they hurt, but I didn't feel the need to grunt or groan.  Next time I'll use the stance my brother told me about and really freak 'em out when I steal one of their benches.

But no grunting. I'm pretty sure I'll pull a groin muscle if I do that, and lemme tell ya, that's no fun at all.  Been there, done that!


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