Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Drapes & Trellises

While I'm waiting for my sleeping meds to take effect, I'll take stock of the day.  

I made two batches of juice.  They'll get me halfway through tomorrow, because I had dinner at my sister's house - ribs!  Having access to my juice may be tough though. I'm seeing a bone & joint specialist about my legs, hips, and feet tomorrow morning, and while I'm there, I plan to shop for a few other things I need, like a new running bra.  *sigh* (Hate it, but I can't get by with just any old cheap bra because I have substantial cleavage to support.). 

I'm approaching day 60 on my mostly liquid diet, and yes, I've lost weight.  I look different than I did at the beginning of June, love of my life, if you're reading this.  If it matters.  I suppose I'll continue the same way until I get to my goal weight. Jealous... Oh I'm jealous of those fat people without metabolic disorders like mine, who diet, or juice, or begin to exercise and shed huge amounts of fat fast.  It's slow for me, but I suppose the trade off is that I won't have a saggy skin issue when I'm smaller.

It's easier for me to just drink my juice than to worry about what horrible choices they'll have in the cafeteria a work.  No choices means no worrying for me.

I thought I'd simply go to Lowes and buy some rough wooden stakes to support my rather large tomato plants that have collapsed again.  They said they've been out of them for a while.  So has Tractor Supply.  Even though it's the middle of the growing season, they think it's odd that my plants need support.

Note: Never be unsympathetic to the plight of a woman needing support, whether she needs emotional support, breast support, or even garden support.  We don't take that stuff lightly, especially when we already are reminded often that no one will provide even intangible support.  I mean love, not money.  I've got plenty of money to take care of things, but you can't fix a broken heart with money.  Mine will probably hurt forever. It hurts more than I want to admit, and I don't know what to do about it.

Hey, I found out today that my dad has written me off.  Apparently I'm "not going to always be here" for my older siblings, and he's been saying it for years.  That makes me feel absolutely dead inside.  I mean, what can I possibly do with that comment, that just reeks of "no one will ever love you"?  

Ouch.  :(  Certainly puts my worst fear into words.  And so much for that emotional support.  I don't guess I can blame him, considering I'm the unloveable one. I can't be angry at him but I don't like knowing he has no confidence in me.

Well, I couldn't find anyplace to buy sturdy enough stakes, so I bought 9 of the tallest thick plastic-metal-ish ones they had at Lowes, and went home to build a trellis.  Never underestimate my knotting ability.  I can tie all sorts of stuff up.  Now the tomatoes don't have much excuse to sprawl anymore, and I'll add more trellising as needed.  

While I was at Lowes, I bought the rest of the draperies that I found for my living room.  Then I installed a set of replacement blinds that had been languishing for a while.  I believe I spent around $150 for that window, not including the rod, finials, and existing curtain panel I reused.  Not a problem.... Except for installing all that freaking hardware by myself and without a ladder.  That balancing act took hours, with one foot on the back of the sofa and the other on the narrow windowsill.  Only one large shin bruise, fortunately, and now I have a very classy looking window treatment that I installed to make the windows look both wider and taller.  It looks REALLY pretty! Red & gold. :). 

When I first bought my house, I couldn't afford to spend anything on decorating, and I didn't have any confidence in my ability to decorate a home anyway.  I'm not a very sophisticated woman, which means no man will have to worry that I'll drive us into bankruptcy over fashionable frivolities, but at the same time I'm probably never going to impress the local social climbers enough for them to be cordial to me. (Maybe that's why I get rejected... I'm not fancy enough to impress anyone.)  Considering that I never had faith I'd ever have much male company here anyway, I didn't see the point in dressing the place up.  After all, who would see it but me?

I got rid of the love seat my dog peed on repeatedly because I couldn't stand the smell, and bought a sofa to replace it.  Recently I added a bunch of bookshelves around the tv, and have begun filling them with my library.  It'll take me a while to get things right, but at least now I can afford to fix things up a bit.  Besides, it took me this long to learn about a lot of home improvement tasks, with no one to teach me what I need to know.  I've figured things out for myself, like the tomato trellis and reasoning how to arrange all of the drapery on the wall.  (Drill.  Using a drill was the best thing I did there, though I did break the bit off into the wall.  It was too small for that task and someone (not me) repeatedly bending it weakened it.  No biggie.)

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