Saturday, July 13, 2013


I bought a bottle of Naked juice yesterday because I was out of everything but sweet potatoes, a couple of oranges, a lime, and a lemon for my juicing.  I didn't have enough to make a decent juice from, so I went shopping for 75 pounds of produce.  I was starving and thirsty, so I bought a bottle of water and some Naked Green Machine, thinking it would taste something like what I make.

Well, it looked like split pea soup and tasted like a banana.  Supposedly, it contained the juice of 5 3/4 apples, a banana, a kiwi, 3/4 mango, pineapple, and tiny amounts of green stuff.

In my experience, the juice of nearly 6 apples would have required a bottle twice as large, not to mention blending in a banana and pineapple juice would have greatly increased the volume.  I wasn't impressed, and I think they are lying about their nutrient content. Not to mention the fact that Naked Juice is pasteurized, which kills nutrients.  Oh, the price? Almost $5 for a bottle. Meh.  Well, it was lunch.

Yeah.  I make better juice for that much money. It's fresh, and I know exactly what's in it.  Maybe the problem is that it's primarily fruit, and that misses the point of juicing vegetables.  

It's been a bad week.  I'm still hurting, and falling into a deep depression because someone did a 180 on me without even an explanation why. I just know that they did.  Add to that the typical isolation I have to endure every summer, and I develop a massive intolerance for the phonies that demand I "be happy" because I have nothing to be unhappy about.  Truth? I have more to be unhappy about than they realize -- I just hide it.  I don't have anyone I can talk to about it, anyway.  People are all about themselves, so I just don't enter into the picture.  The phonies just don't realize that they've already lost, but they're so busy feeling superior that they didn't pay attention.  They've had gold dust poured into their hands, but the tighter they gripped, the more slipped through their fingers.  Surely they will be "happy" with the few grains left to them, as they've insisted I should be.

I've been told one too many times that I should be happy to be alone and have no children, and always by married people who have children they plaster all over the Internet.  Would they be congratulating themselves if their spouse left them and their children died? Oh, sounds a little cruel, doesn't it?  It's just as cruel to throw that garbage in my face, so let's just admit they are assholes who don't deserve what they have.

I attended a couple of social events this week and they did nothing to help my discomfort in only knowing a couple of people there. (Who did their best to make me feel included.) After thirty minutes of squirming with nothing to occupy myself, I started entertaining myself with my cell phone.  I tried to start conversations, but I got some noses turned up at me, so I gave up.  I don't think I could have drunk enough to make me interesting to that group, anyway.  :). They were all friends, so why would they be friendly to a complete stranger?  (It was all very middle school cliquish, I saw.  I thought it was just because of my own awkwardness, so I tried harder the next night.  Much the same results, along with a feeling that they thought I was just a pathetic gate crasher.  Lol)

I have a friend who has been saying all his life that he wants to be a hermit.  I think if it were forced on him, he'd change his mind in a hurry. It would be like the "Last Man on Earth" who was so happy to be alone so he could read all of the time.... And then he broke his gasses, so he was just alone.  

Or maybe like the protagonist of I Am Legend, who had nobody but his dog, and who set up mannequins to talk to because he was on the verge of losing his sanity to his isolation.  Then he lost his dog and really did lose it for a while. What brought him back from the edge? Oh... another person saved him. A woman, point of fact. 

Humans aren't meant to be alone, and when it happens for too long, their psyche crumbles. Maybe the desire for isolation is due to being around people who don't understand you.  I would rather be alone than stuck with a selfish, horrible person, but I'd rather be with someone who cares deeply for me, than be alone.

People always tell you to smile, because that makes you happy.  No, it would make them happy because then sadness would not appear to exist in their Pollyanna-like bubble.  Smiling is not a magic spell creating happiness.  Don't be an idiot. Just smile like one and create more wrinkles. Sugarcoat everything... Until you run out of sugar.

The "smile and be happy" admonition always sits as well as the "I'm here for you!" one that comes from people who are literally never there longer than it takes to take something from you and then leave you behind.

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