Since they introduced the new models in my preferred line of shoes (Asics Gel Nimbus 15) the 14s have started dropping in price. So I thought that I could get a good deal on a narrower pair of shoes for my naughty feet.
In all honesty, I was sad when I found out that the wide versions have only one color choice and they aren't the cool colors that the others come in. :(. The 14s had a really cool multicolored model that I wanted, but then I discovered that those were only made in "normal" widths, and I'd been sold wides. Granted, the color choice might be considered rather tacky and loud, but I don't usually look very snazzy when I'm running or exercising, so having some flashy shoes would have given me a thrill. (Other than purple suede pumps 22 years ago, these are the first really colorful shoes I've owned. I suck at being a fashionista.)
Flash forward to last week when I found a pair of 7.5s, normal width, in hot pink and black! Yowza, they are bright! I ordered them, hoping that my reasoning was correct and that normal width shoes would fit me just fine.
When I first tried them on for breaking in yesterday, two toes went numb after awhile. :(. But you know, that happened with the wide shoes and it prompted me to change my lacing pattern. It loosened the pressure on the blood vessels on the tops of my feet and I didn't experience any numbness after that. Relacing also gave me more shoelace length with which to tie double knots.
I decided to take my new shoes for a test run tonight after I walked my dog in them. I only ran up and down the street, and didn't quite manage a mile, but my feet were happy, even on the hill. Of course, I didn't use the correct app, so I have no idea how fast I ran without my dog. It felt like a decent speed though.
I was trying to work myself up to a run all evening, and did a little race research on half marathons. And wouldn't you know it, I got a little rush of fear-based adrenaline that went straight to my stomach. Fear of running when there is absolutely no pressure to perform.... It doesn't make sense. What exactly is it I'm afraid of?
Running in the dark, alone, in my neighborhood. There's a large number of sex offender and other criminals in my 'hood. I've looked it up.
Running poorly and disappointing myself.
I'd rather not run alone. I'd rather run in a better location, and most especially not alone, but I don't like running after dark at my school unless the custodial staff is still on duty. The same goes for the high school with the award winning mega bucks track and bragging rights football field. Daytime isn't so bad, but after dark it's creepy. There's also that contradiction: in the daytime everyone can see you, making it safer, but I don't want people being able to see me run because I worry about how I look.
Oh, it's not that I'm worried my hair will be out of place or some other small cosmetic problem. I'm concerned that I look like I'm dying a horrible death. :). When I run, I'd just like for it to look like I'm handling it fine. Ha ha. Is that possible?
Wherever I run, whenever i run, I worry that something bad is going to happen to me. Maybe that's the source of my stomach knots. Some runners need Imodium before they race. I wonder if maybe I need Xanax before I run so that I can learn to enjoy it and breathe.
Side note: I'm really missing my SPIBelt. I don't know where it's gone, and I haven't seen it since springtime. So... If you see an unattended black SPIBelt with a pink zipper around here, please give it back to me. My other waist pack just flops all around my midsection. :(