Saturday, December 21, 2013

Learned, Part 1

I have learned that when there are 2 inches of water steadily flowing through the carport, a cat will not leave her perch, safe in a chair, for food. She will, however, allow you to bring her food bowl to her so that she can eat where she is without getting her paws wet.  The next morning, in gratitude, she and her mother will sing you the song of their people, requesting more food. It was an amusing duet.

I have learned that it is possible to use a Kyocera copy machine to create a computer scored exam, grade the exam, and analyze the results in every possible way.  All on one copy machine.  I learned this incidentally from the teacher who wanted me to do this because I was left out of the training on that copier.  I had no idea it could be done! Such is life as a "not a real teacher", as seen by fellow faculty members over whom I have seniority, and some of whom have less education than I do.  Amusing. :)

need between 8 and 9 hours of sleep to feel my best, and if I push it toward 9, I'll wake up with a sore back and ribs.  I can survive on 6 or 7, but I'll feel awful until a few days of consistent, plentiful sleep.  Ten straight hours of sleeping will give me a headache.  I get my best sleep when I've exercised that day, but if I exercise late in the evening I will have a hard time sleeping and I'll start back on that vicious cycle of sleep deprivation again.  

Melatonin gummies DO work.  :). And they taste good.  

I CAN wake up and go to the gym at 5:30 in the morning, though I will look like a swollen-eyed, ponytailed, pale-faced and tired hag when I get there. And I really won't care about it, either.  All this despite the fact that I'm a night owl and would rather go to the gym at 1 am to have free run of the place.  

Casey's IS FULL OF MEN at 5:30 in the morning, and apparently that's where my gym invisibility fails me.  They all stared at me, looking like a hag, obviously headed to the gym, fresh out of bed in my workout gear, buying a large Smart Water bottle that will be reused with my home's tap water until the bottle cracks. 

An hour workout before work perks me up and boosts my mood until lunchtime or later, even though I didn't want to get up.  I felt great both days I tried it, and wanted to be home in bed at 9 pm, though other people refused to let me the second day, and I ended up too sleep-deprived to go the next morning.  

Exercising myself to death won't make me lose weight, but juicing certainly will.  :) 

When my dog has a dirty backside, he will want to stick it in my face.  It's his way of requesting a bath.  He hates baths.

You can create a couple of square feet of countertop in my kitchen by moving the microwave to the baker's rack, which was previously just a clutter catcher.  That "new" countertop prep area will feel like it's the size of a football field.  You can also create workspace by putting a large cutting board into the 2 pulled-out drawers your entire kitchen boasts, but only if you don't need to use the stove. Lol. (Okay, just go around and use the stove from the back side.  It took me 12 years in this house to figure these things out.  Thanks to Pinterest for the second tip.)

Dap makes horrible DIY bathroom caulk for the tub.  Loctite is what you want, if you're a DIYer of my questionable caliber.  Dap sucks.  Dap cracks and molds rather quickly.  Trust me.  Loctite. Just go to Lowes and get it. And use the neighbor's shower for three days while yours dries.  (Ok, the neighbor is a sibling, so that's not too creepy.)

Turning all the lights on in the room and burning a few nice candles will boost your mood a little, especially if you drink something warm and chocolatey.  

Even after your mom is gone and you feel relieved that you won't have to crow over the dollar box of chocolate covered cherries she always gave you because she loved them, somebody is bound to keep giving them to you and you'll be bound to be ever so grateful for the thoughtful gift.  Forever.  One man's heirloom fruitcake is another's cheap chocolate covered cherries.  I swear to God I'm going to give that person fruitcake next year. This is my reminder note. I should go on and buy that fruitcake this year. It'll keep, right?

People will brag about specific sweets they make for Christmas to one person, and then come to you asking how to make those sweets.  I kid you not.

The vet can give your dog a shorter pedicure than you ever dared and the right vet can keep your dog absolutely calm for two injections that never even make him flinch.  That is an awesome vet.  She must smell just right to my dog.  He trusts her. :)

Loving someone for fifteen years has no bearing on how willing they will be to hurt you.  Forgiving their lies and shortcomings seems to be inversely proportional to how well they treat you when you are most vulnerable.  

People do change for other people, or rather, as a result of knowing those people.  I have definitely been changed by the man who broke my heart, with him knowing full well exactly what he was doing.  I wish I could tell him that while he is labeling all of his exes bitches, he made them that way.  He complained that they were sweet at the start, then turned into bitches, but never acknowledged that his treatment of them was the catalyst for their change.  In fact, he would probably call me a bitch for saying that.  But that wouldn't be correct.  I'm still just trying to survive what he did to me.  He lied when he said he would never hurt a woman. He does it without even an apology.  Karma is a bitch, too. And she's got teeth.

Ah, what am I doing, thinking about him?  It's obvious to me now that he never really cared about me.  I hadn't thought about him in a while, but he was in my dream last night.  Just a dream where I was at work, things were frantic, and he was a useless, cold, unapproachable administrator who was forcing everyone to watch a video that literally put me to sleep in my dream. It's as weird to truly sleep in a dream as it is to truly die in one.  It's like the "dead man" on the floor through most of Jigsaw.  

I learned how to eat alone in a restaurant this year. The third time was the charm (it no longer bothered me intensely), and I spent that time focused on properly using chopsticks to eat my sushi, while trying a friendly smile on the guy sitting across from me.  He seemed freaked that his invisibility had slipped. Lol. I was just practicing being a non-rabbit.  :).  I'm not into picking men up -- I'm just old fashioned that way -- and he wasn't interesting.  I was just trying to eat without choking on my wasabi.  It tends to go up my nose. Lol.  I love it anyway. :). 

The experience reminded me of the scene from City of Angels, when Seth is alone and buying pears at the market after Maggie's death.  You can see him blinking back tears, but ultimately, he just got on with his life, without her.  

It's what you have to do, because it's all you have left -- either a dead end altogether, or shadowy possibilities you don't dare to hope for.  

I'm finally enjoying sushi enough that I won't wait months for someone who will go with me to the restaurant.  :)   I can't parlay it into a reason for living, but I have to live long enough to try out the chopsticks and spoon my friend gave me for Christmas, emblazoned with this year's Chinese National Opera good guy.  ;)

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