It tears up the very soft ground and leaves huge muddy ruts. My driveway is now full of muddy tracks too. I'm damn tired of it. They're damaging my property on a daily basis, and I'm not a renter -- I'm a homeowner.
Although the part of me that is feeling bullied and harassed would like to toss some nail-studded wood strips out there, or spikes of rebar aimed at their trespassing tires, I can't help thinking that they'd probably respond by slashing my tires if I did it. Oh, people are fast to scream that I should damage the offenders' property, but they don't have to live here with the worry of retaliation. I wouldn't put it past some people to poison my dog. And I have to mow my yard, too, so my own tires would be in danger.
I tried parking my car in the way, in my own driveway. They tore through my yard again this morning after I left for work. It looked even worse this afternoon than it did yesterday. Okay, so I waited for hours for them to get home, so that I could politely ask them not to vandalize my property. They didn't come home, so I left a very polite and beseeching note on their door requesting that they help me by no driving through my yard. I also drove some five foot garden stakes into a staggered border at the edge of my property to give a visual reminder that I'm serious.
I was considering a staggered border of cinder blocks that I could move when I mowed, but I thankfully came across this picture on the internet that I considered buying, at $100 per corner section.
My house has long needed some curb appeal, anyway. I was willing to pay that much to get it quickly assembled and put an end to the problem. So I asked my brother, the contractor, and he freaked over the price. He said he would help me build it out of wood for a lot less. Hopefully, he can help me sometime this week. I look at it and now I see the simple design he pointed out to me, but I'm clueless about what pieces of wood I would need and the best way to put them all together.
I'm hoping.... I could possibly build it myself, but I'm pretty helpless when it comes to carpentry. Maybe this will make me brave enough to replace that access door to under my house that has completely rotted away.
I just want people to stop pushing me around. I pay a lot of damn money for my house and to have someone damaging my property just gets under my skin.
I was angry about a lot of things yesterday. I was pretty much abandoned, alone, in the chapel of the funeral home yesterday without a word they'd be back or even where they were going. Just a "Come on" to him and walking away like I wasn't even there. And funeral homes really bother me. Forty minutes later, I had to go searching because my blood sugar was dropping and I needed to leave. And yet another hour passed before my request to leave was heeded. Yeah, stupid me for not just driving myself, I know. Next time, I will.
Then I came home to a torn up yard again. It wasn't the first time this girl has done it. I tried stacking cardboard boxes in the way, but that only lasted until the city finally picked up the trash. They just don't give a damn if it isn't hurting their own property.
There are several more things that just kept piling on, with no relief from any of them..
And then I've got someone picking at me over all that is hurting me. I just never got the impulse that makes the victim feel better by making jokes about her. So I blew up. All the anger that I had been pushing down for months turned into full blown rage, and I went off. My apologies for lashing out when I finally got backed all the way into the corner. I guess I should have just swallowed it all down and gotten a larger ulcer to make everyone amused. I did give the warning that picking at me doesn't make me happy, and it equates to kicking me when I'm down, but I wasn't being listened to, just placated. I don't work like that. I've been picked on too much in my life already, and I snapped.
Now I'm dealing with the hangover affect from all that adrenaline and rage. I couldn't go to sleep last night. I was nauseated and anxiety-ridden. I had a bad headache and a big knot of pain high in my abdomen that made me think it might be an impending heart attack. I felt so bad I decided that even if I was sure it was, I wouldn't go to the hospital. I'd just let go. I've really had enough.
After a sleepless night, all that anger dropped into acute depression. It's been getting worse all day. And I woke up this morning sick with a fever, sore throat, and congestion too. When I woke up from my coma nap, I was in a very dark place, other than sleeping away all of the daylight hours. Thinking really dark, bleak thoughts again. Uncontrollable crying. Don't send the men in white coats to take me into custody. Just leave me alone. I'll take care of myself the way I've always done.