Friday, March 7, 2014

The Redneck Car Wash

After five days of waiting for the ice to begin melting, I went out to my car to realize where the birds have been hanging out.  The driver's side rearview mirror of my car.

I know all the kittens have been lounging on the hood of my car, because there are hundreds on tiny paw prints all over it.  Yesterday I went outside to see they were obviously soaking up all the hood warmth they could, before I left for my hair appointment.  They had a pleading look in their eyes.    

Now don't start with a lecture about the kittens being outside.  They aren't mine.  Their mother isn't mine, either.  She was abandoned, and I've been feeding her.... And them.... And every mangy neighborhood cat and raccoon who knows where to look.  I guess St. Francis blessed me when I visited his tomb, I don't know.  Either that, or he spotted a sucker.  

For the record, I made the kittens and their mother an insulated house with warm bedding.  I have a lamp shining on their favorite chair, full of bedding, to keep them warm.  I left cardboard boxes on the carport for them as well.  I've tried getting them to "pet-able-ness" for months, but they are just feral.  If  they hadn't stayed so wild and unfriendly, I would have brought them in the house.

So... I tried, and don't call the cops on me.  I still try.  I even bought a box of cat treats to get them to trust me.  

Back to my point.  The birds have been using my mirror as a perch, and pooping all down the door as a thank you.  Yuck.  It's too cold and wet out there still to whip out the hose for a car wash.  

I noticed the edge of the roof is dripping with the force of a rainstorm, so I strategically parked the poopy area under the biggest drippy area I could reach.  It's washing off the caked on birdie poop now.  As we speak! And I'm conserving water, too.  :). Though right now that's hardly a concern as several local rivers are at flood stage.  As long as the Mississippi River can handle all the runoff, it should be ok, anyhow.  

There it is: the redneck car wash.  Free and making use of the bounty of ice Mother Nature granted us this week.  (Note, through all the dripping, my yard is still blanketed in white.  The first few nights, it looked festooned in sparkling glitter.  Today, it's reflecting the sunshine gloriously and glaringly.)

Oh, but you know, looking at all the icy snow piles on street corners made me want to carve them into sculptures.  I just don't know how I would explain it to the local police when they were called to check out the crazy white woman flashing knives at a pile of snow down by the skating rink.  Yeah, that wouldn't be tough to explain at ALL, would it?

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