Saturday, May 10, 2014

Ribs Gone Cracky

Sorry.  Silly ploy for an eye-catching title gone awry.

I had a massage yesterday (which was awesome and put me in danger of falling asleep quite a few times) and realized when I was trying to lie on my stomach on the table, that my ribs may be cracked and not bruised.  I gasped when I tried it, and eventually gritted my teeth and held my breath to accomplish it because a pained groan is not the best thing to hear coming out of that room.

Getting myself arranged on the table was rough.  Normally, I spend a couple of minutes just trying to arrange my breasts under me (as you do) because they are SO in the way at this size and they have to be placed just so under me in order to disappear from my conscious notice.  Any other positioning just makes me notice they are painfully squished under me.  Men can only understand this by way of comparison to their testicles.  Yep, I went there.  You guys aren't the only ones who experience pain, ok?

After the pain from my ribs finally faded into the background, I was able to enjoy the massage.  After a rough week of summer-itis from nearly all my students, I was feeling really frazzled.  I nearly fell asleep a few times, I was so relaxed, but because the best part of a massage is feeling the muscles being worked over, sleep was not what I wanted.  :)

So now I'm sitting here on the couch with legs squished under me in a vain attempt to avoid troubling my ribs but simultaneously oblige my dog's request that I get out of bed.  Eating wasabi and soy sauce almonds with pineapple juice.  I had weird dreams... Plus one totally realistic one that I was in the classroom from HELL, which had many familiar faces and seriously made me consider doing something over-the-top and permanent to those hellions of my dreamscape.  And then I went home to find a huge mother rat was now terrorizing my bedroom.  *sigh* I awakened with a hangover, after absolutely NO alcohol.  

***feelings of being pulled screaming, against my will! into the swamp of someone else's personal drama once again***

I don't like drama, I don't like swamps, and I sure as heck don't like anyone bad mouthing people to me and expecting me to agree with them.  Also, I don't appreciate being forced to miss the first ten minutes of Hannibal to listen to a bitchfest.  

Ah Hannibal... Last night he finally showed real anger when he saw Margot in the hospital bed.  Mason really has it coming to him, Hannibal style.  No wonder he's so ... protective toward Margot.  Never think Hannibal doesn't have empathy.  He does, though it is rare for Mr. Superior to step away from his personally-motivated manipulations to show it.  

I've been putting my Amazon Prime membership to the test.  Last night I ordered two orange neckties, hopefully one of which will be the right shade of orange, for my nephew's graduation on Friday.  

Today I received my Apple SuperDrive.  I bought it after I completely filled up my laptop and STILL didn't get all the videos off my iphone.  Note to coworkers: I'm not lending it out. There is one on your hall for you to use.  Find it. Or buy your own like I did.  I'm tired of people borrowing and never returning my things.  Or worse yet, lying and saying I gave them things when I didn't, and actually couldn't.  Magic words to remember: "I'm sorry, I don't have it (for you -- I bought it for me)"

I'm just a happier person when people aren't stealing from me. Go figure. :). Aren't you?

Or even better yet, those people who won't speak to me in the hallway even if I say hi to them -- they just toss their noses into the air... And then come straight to me expecting me to provide whatever equipment they need / want on a moment's notice.  News flash: I am not provided with "extra" equipment such as batteries, flash drives, spare computers, cables, or chargers to share around the building.  Actually, I'm provided with laptops and a charger for each for use only in my class, and stuff such as iPhone / iPad chargers, batteries, and flash drives, I had to buy myself.  Hey, they know where to find Wal-Mart. It's just not in my classroom. :) * However, I do help my friends out. It's such a small group.

Oh! Speaking of things that make me happy -- Amazon Prime brought me Spot Shot Professional... I've been removing carpet stains with it for a few days now.  It really does work.  I have to spend the weekend shampooing the carpets, and then I can get what spots are left with Spot Shot.  I may have just gotten lucky, but it seems to make my dog reluctant to use the carpet as his personal patch of grass.  Now THAT does make me happy.  It reeks to high heaven of chemicals for a day, but it does seem to pull the stains up into the cloths I'm using to clean.  I just wind up with a bucketful of them each day and they go straight to the sanitize setting in my washer.

To be honest, right now I don't have the energy to give my house a thorough spring cleaning.  Just keeping up with laundry is getting to me.  The end of the school year is a really bad time for a teacher to do anything but try to survive.  Even preparing food for myself is becoming optional.  I have to decide if I'm really hungry enough to eat, or if a cup of chicken broth will be sufficient to stop my hunger pangs so that I can sleep. 20 years of experience have shown me that sometime in mid June I'll typically recover, if I am sitting at home resting.  That's not an option this year.

Maybe the house thing should be an indicator.  If you love me, you'll be patient about my house.  I only have visitors about once a year anyway, and the last time my visitor turned out to have such shortcomings in his character that I regretted going to such trouble. I only have enough time left in my life to focus on things that are important to me, or people I care about (who are, obviously, important to me). No more time for lying con men.

Not to worry about the ribs, though.  They'll heal.  Doctors don't even wrap them these days, to avoid pneumonia. I break things that don't benefit from medical intervention anyway: tailbone, ribs, toes, eye socket.  My collarbone needed help, though, because I was only two and couldn't really vocalize what was hurting.  I only 'fessed up to my pediatrician on that one.  My thumb... Well, I probably should have had that looked at, but it was my left thumb, and I'm right-handed, so I only noticed a problem when I used it to slam the washer door again.  Go figure. Lol

As long as I don't break my hip, I should survive. ;)

I am very excited that I will finally get to see Eddie Izzard perform later this month at the Orpheum in Memphis.  :)  Ah, I can't wait!  Laughter is great medicine. We will be in the balcony, and I just hope that there is a screen or something to show close ups if we're too far away to see clearly.  The funny thing is this: if I got to have a conversation with him (highly unlikely, I'm sure), I'd ask him about his running, and how he got through all those marathons in 2009.  I still want to run, but right now it is off the table for me while I'm healing.  *sigh*. 

Given what my thoughts were the first time I ran in a race, I'd love to hear what he thought about -- all those random crazy self-loathing thoughts that every suffering runner has.  ;)