Sunday, June 1, 2014

Underwires on a Plane / Is This A Weapon?

If you know me, you understand that flying while wearing an underwire bra is a concern of mine.  No, I can't wear a wireless one.  I've tried, and they don't support the girls.  I'm physically uncomfortable with the amount of movement and lack of support caused by an absence of heavy metal underwear.  

Besides, my special hardware bras perform a magic trick: they make my top look smaller.  They squash me and they hurt me, but it's better than allowing the girls to be totally out there.  (It's a case of damned if you do, damned if you don't.  That's life.)

Well, if you could see the difference with and without the body armor, you'd believe me, but I'm not going to demonstrate.  Sorry.  You'll just have to take my word for it.

I gave a brief lesson on underwires during CPR training last week, when we were reviewing the use of a defibrillator.  Basically, the wires don't join in the middle, and that's where you'll have to cut through. 

Yes, I'm cleared to shock your heart if it stops.  Scared? Hey, better living through electricity!

Underwires and back hooks can cause burns with a defibrillator, so we are told to cut the bra off.  I personally don't want random people seeing me topless, but if I'm going to die otherwise, I guess go ahead and do what has to be done.

Knowing I'm going to be flying this summer, I always ask myself what I'll do if I have a disagreement about my bra with a TSA agent at the airport.  Before one has the chance to start groping me, I'm likely to unsnap my bra and whip it out through my sleeve for a closer look before the guy even realizes he's not being handed a massive slingshot.  

It's a move lots of us bra-wearing ladies perform every day when we are finally at home and wish to get comfortable. We can do it rather quickly and one-handed.

Yes, I hope it embarrasses them.  

Because I will already be angry and embarrassed, and I might as well not be the only one with a red face.  

I doubt it will be a problem, because I've worn the same bra model through all their security scanners before without any questions, so it does make me wonder a few things: 

Are they really paying attention?  (I'm ok if they're not looking at my naked image closely.)

Isn't it conceivable that someone could conceal a curved-blade knife where an underwire goes? 

Couldn't someone pull out the underwire, sharpen it, and then reinsert it for boarding a plane? 

Or maybe those things would be easy to spot on the scanners.  

Ask any lady who has been stabbed by a broken underwire, just how sharp and deadly they can be....

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