Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Blather and Stress

Lately I've been working, a bit at a time, on my closet. I figured out a way to extend the space but I still have to figure out how I'm going to store winter clothes so that they will be out of the way. I have acquired so many sweatshirts and hoodies over the past winter that I can't keep all of them out now that warmer weather has come. 

I finally accepted the fact that I need to get some more clothes, so I've been making skirts to wear to work. Some are long, some are short, and most of them had to have zippers installed. Lots of people  absolutely hate installing zippers, but I haven't had any trouble doing it. Apparently my skills are much better than I had remembered. After all, it's not like I'm clumsily stitching a Tinkerbell skirt by hand.

I'd have been more impressed if that Tinkerbell skirt had been the actual size for a human to wear than something about 3 inches tall.  More practice at hand sewing was definitely called for. However, I suppose if he can sew his own buttons on, then he'll be in fine stead for everything he needs, having absolutely no one around to help him out with such things, just as he wants it.

Hey, if you want a woman to change, treat her like trash and then see whether you actually like what you've changed her into. Don't be upset when her bite becomes too venomous for you.  It's exactly what you engineered.

I forced myself to get a full night's sleep last night by taking Zzzquil. Monday night I tossed and turned for all but two hours, and I was sweating so profusely by then that I couldn't sleep anyway.  Yes, the night sweats are still plaguing me nightly, even though my former doctor assured me 8 years ago I'm just imagining waking up feverish and sweat-soaked. 

I only remembered being awakened once, and I'm not sure I was truly awake for that conversation.  That's okay.  Afterward I slipped into thick, heavy, velvety slumber and a vivid dream that would have been Technicolor if only it hadn't been set at night.

I dreamed I was a vampire.  No surprise there, but I was hanging around with some bad influences who decided I should join in on massacreing a class of elementary school students.  I remember just calmly saying I wouldn't do it, then I created a distraction and got the children to hide in a safe place.  Logic? Oh, there was little in this dream.  I remember not being bothered that the sun was coming up, and being simply uninterested in harming children.  There went my humanity.

And then I flew away.  Not flapping my arms, silly.  Just simple levitation, by force of will and concentration.  It was easy at first, but the further away I was from the others, the harder it was to concentrate on whatever it was that would make me fly.  And then I was trying to leapfrog between the sides of two buildings, getting weaker the harder I tried.  Symbolic of lack of confidence in the waking world.  

I've been worried about the stressful attitudes toward schools lately.  The kids are stressed, the teachers are stressed, and I'm afraid a kid somewhere, sometime soon, is going to erupt into violence.  It felt eerily like a premonition, once I discounted the silliness of the vampire theme.  Hey, don't look at me as a possible perp.  Multiple times a day I run through responses to various disaster scenarios in my head.  I'm worrying more than ever.  

My disinterest in the other monsters was just my acceptance of the fact that I'm accepted by so few people in reality that I don't know anymore if I have any true friends left.  Just the one I'm pretty sure I can count on, for obvious reasons.  Hey, he made sure I'd have lunch for today and tomorrow.  :). That's pretty freaking awesome. 

Add to this my creative problems lately: I couldn't get my Cricut software to work on Chrome or Safari, so I couldn't make the shirt I wanted to wear today, after buying the design.  I also struggled for two hours to paint clouds in oil.  Well into the last hour, I finally got it (kinda), just in time to have to clean up and quit.  My painting won't be ready for the show at the college.  I really felt discouraged.  I think McCroskey would say it best:


Friday, April 3, 2015

Sunshine and Skirts

The weather this week finally turned to sunny spring, and after a day outside with my classes (required, in case you think I'm a slacker), my mood started to improve.  

Sunshine makes me feel better and it recharges me. There you have it.  I am from Krypton.  I must be Supergirl.  Or Faora.  And all along I'd wanted to be Wonder Woman.  :)

The bright light doesn't come without some pain though.  I had a migraine start yesterday just as I got off work for a three day weekend, and I ended up having to take Imitrex on my date.  That wouldn't be so bad except for the side effects. My jaws and neck ache within an hour of taking it, my mood drops, and I become sluggish and sleepy.  We had dinner and he obligingly took me shopping for fabric.  

The side effects hit me in the fabric store.  After we left there, my eyes started tearing up when I yawned.  I felt horribly groggy suddenly and I felt so bad about ruining the evening. I don't remember much after getting home, but I woke up around 11:30 pm and felt like I'd been out for a couple of hours already, with my shoulder pinned painfully under me and my left arm numb.  I was still too groggy to do more than wipe off my makeup, take out my contacts, and get undressed for bed.  

The good news is that I woke up this morning without the migraine, but of course my scalp is sore from the meds and I'm a bit stiff from sleeping hard. Not bad. Pretty good, considering how awful my migraines are.  Better this than suffering and wishing I could put my hands on a gun I'm hurting so much. They are that bad.  It should be one of the migraine warning signs.  "If this is the worst headache of your life, or shooting yourself seems like a viable end to your headache, please see a doctor IMMEDIATELY, even if you have to take a taxi to get there, because you need a Toradol injection."

I prefer not taking drugs.  I see no glamour in it.  They're expensive and cause harmful side effects.  It's better to just be healthy without prescriptions.... If you can manage it, and it's often not a choice. I'm doing better than many my age.

But this isn't all sad migraine stuff.  :)

I finished my knit skirt, with stretch in both directions.  I do believe I bought a spandex blend, yes I do.  OHHHH, it was a pain sewing that thing together.  I used tissue paper for stability for every single stitch in the fabric, along with a stretch stitch on my machine.  I was extremely calm and patient.  I used a ball-point needle in the machine, to make that stretchy stuff happy.  

In the end, I had a lovely skirt in a wrapped style that was just the perfect length to make me happy.  When I wore it, I received lots of compliments on my appearance, which went miles toward making me feel happy.  Dare I say I might just make another knit garment or two?  I'd said that on my next cruise I might just make a convertible dress for formal wear, if this skirt worked out, and it did.  I'll just have to remember that working with knits is not fast, considering the stretch factor, though it creates wonderful drape.  

That night I started another skirt, using a Craftsy class I'd enrolled in, that taught the basics of skirt construction.  When I made clothes years ago as a broke college student, I didn't know about proper garment finishing techniques.  :D <--- sheepish grin.  If anybody had looked inside my seams, they'd have known the truth.  So I wanted to know how to make a skirt the right way.  

I learned SO much from this class, even though it seems like the instructor simply can't see any of the questions I've added along the way.  She's not answering mine, though others' questions get answered.  In any case, I figured things out for myself after all.  I sewed darts.  I inserted a zipper, without a zipper foot, because my machine was missing several accessory pressed feet it listed as included, and I didn't discover this fact until long after I'd bought it.  :(. Come to think of it, my other Brother machine didn't have any extra accessories it claimed to, and now I think the company is just scamming people to make a few extra dollars. 

I was fine without the zipper foot anyway.  :). My zipper looks great.  I think zippers are a pain to sew even with a proper zipper foot.  Because they're zippers. Lol.  

I also learned how to sew a blind hem!!!  That is important, considering how I have to re-hem every pair of dress pants I buy.  In fact, Wednesday night when I hemmed the skirt, I looked down at the expensive pants I'd bought from a department store, and realized that they weren't hemmed with a blind hem.  The hem was badly done, showed on the outside, AND the right leg was different from the left.  *sigh*

*Note to people who know me: having learned to sew a blind hem, this does not mean that I'm having fun sewing them enough to want to spend my nights and money hemming your clothes for you free of charge.  I will, however, teach you to sew one on your machine.  My motivation is purely self-centered.  I want my clothes to look nice. I don't want to be your tailoring slave.  

I did discover that while my hip measurements are pretty full, my waist measurement is proportionately several sizes smaller, and I had to take in the waistline when that skirt was finished.  Not an unhappy problem to have, but my hips are the heavy area -- not my waistline.  Next time it looks like I'll be customizing the pattern to fit me better, with a smaller waistline.

I got lots of compliments on my skirt yesterday, too. (Even the hostess at the restaurant said "Oh, you look so pretty!" which I thought was amusing.)  I was even happier, though I'd feel more comfortable with a slightly lower hemline. The amusing factor in that outfit was the top.  All I had to wear with it was a blue t-shirt, a size too large because someone thought I should wear my shirt loose. Lol. Men can do that. I actually look heavier when my tees are too loose. 

So I took my scissors to the shirt while he was out of the room, and removed all of the bands.  Then I slashed the sleeves and the sides and tied it all up with ribbon. I created some flattering gathers and feminine details. It was cute for a fifteen minute refashion, anyway.  I believe he was surprised I could improve a frumpy tee with scissors. If I'd had more time that night, a little sewing would have made a big difference, so it is destined for a date with my machine.

New clothes that fit, compliments, and sunshine... I definitely needed those. This winter was rough on my mental state, and no amount of caffeine helped. Give me vibrant colors and a little sun over grey gloom and ice any day.