Friday, October 30, 2015

Blues and News and Things I Do

It's been a month since I've written anything, for several reasons.  Some are good, and some are not so good.  

First, some of the good.  I haven't had a migraine since the middle of May.  I went from 2 or 3 a week to suddenly.... None. I still have occasional headaches, but not migraines. I'm perfectly happy with that, because Imitrex makes me feel wretched.  What changed, other than maybe a miracle?  I started paying close attention to the position of my neck.  When my head goes too far forward, the pain begins and accelerates.  Head up, no migraine.  I guess that's a good reason to never let my depression show in my posture.

Actually, I'm not exactly feeling true depression at the moment -- it's a hormonal drop with its typical accompanying blues.  I'm in a lot of pain though.

More good: I've started having a little success with selling my t-shirt designs.  Not much so far, not even enough to pay taxes on, but I hope things continue.  So far I'm just breaking even on equipment and materials. No, that stuff isn't given away. Lol

The problems come in with me feeling pretty crummy for the last month.  On my next appointment I'll probably get the official diagnosis that I have a serious case of endometriosis.  It gets exponentially worse every month, and I'm spending too many weeks in between with the pain just as bad as it is during my period.  Cramps... I wish it was simple old cramps, but it's a grinding, tearing, pulling pain with some seriously sharp teeth and other gross complications.  I can't sleep, I'm always dead tired even when I do sleep, and I feel too sick to eat pretty often, though my belly is swelling.  And now my anemia has come back, despite daily iron pills, yuck.  

Well, we shall see what's going on, if I can just find a doctor who will listen to me about the pain I'm in.

Oh great.  I just realized I forgot to call my grandmother and wish her a happy 94th birthday.  :(. I guess I got distracted.  It was another day of smelling strangely familiar phantom perfume.  It only happens on her birthday.   Maybe I should have dragged myself to the backyard.  I might have found another heart shaped stone placed mysteriously on my dog's grave lie last time I smelled the perfume.

Of course, right now I can't do much in the way physical activity.  In May I shredded the interior of my foot and ankle and probably broke my cuboid.  Three weeks ago I fell at my first VOLS game and broke my toe.  Now I'm trying to alleviate the resurgence of plantar fasciitis resulting from those injuries' healing time.  

But hey... My Strassburg Sock is actually helping with that, so maybe I can get on my feet again before something else breaks. :D

Further good news: I'm going to Italy again.  I can't wait to go back and I'm hoping that I don't have another blubbering meltdown in the Basilica of St. Francis in Assisi.  It was a bittersweet moment when it happened because the fresco that made me cry uncontrollably reminded me of precisely when my mother died.  It was so hot in the upper cathedral that my tears and sweat were indistinguishable.  I was just soggy and exhausted.  What's in my head goes through my heart and comes out of my eyes without warning.  I feel far too much empathy at times, usually when I don't want to and I'd rather be cool and detached. 

This time, I WILL walk up to the fortress of Assisi and check out the secret passage.  I'll eat a lot more fresh local fruit for snacks and hopefully I'll come back with the amaretto I missed out on last time. Somehow I was sold Nocino, and I'm not into walnuts. Eww. 

:D I'm going to Italy! I suppose those coins I threw into the Trevi Fountain worked after all, if you consider that I didn't actually want a romance with a Roman.   And this time, I'll pack better, though last time I didn't do too badly.  Coming back from Paris, though, I had too many souvenirs and injured my shoulder trying to lift my suddenly weighty suitcase on the Eurostar.  (Lesson learned: bring only three shirts and just buy a couple more to hand wash in the hotel.  Maybe wear two on the plane. )