Monday, July 18, 2016

I Wish...

I wish...
... I didn't have a stubborn sinus headache that reminds me what migraines are like.
... People would truly take care of their children before treating themselves.
... Kids whose parents give them the world would at least mow the yard.
... The world was filled with peace, love, and happiness.
... That my nice voice could be as effective as my harsh, angry voice. I don't ever want to use it.
... That my business was doing well enough to justify continuing.
... That today's beautiful sunshine accompanied 70 degree temps. :D
... That my dog would stop scratching himself bloody.
... That my weight loss wasn't stalled at the usual place.
... That I wasn't hungry so much.
... That I didn't completely mistrust the folks who do my nails.
... That people wouldn't blatantly steal my original designs and then sell them.
... That my house wasn't cluttered.
... That I could get lots of energy by eating healthy, and fix the above. :)
... That my kitchen was already painted and my new shelves were successfully up!
... That those shelf boards didn't have to come from an hour away and cost $20 each!
... That my dog hadn't been shivering in the house.
... That people understood it takes money to order materials for custom work. 
... That people would prepay custom orders so I don't have to fear being stiffed on materials that can't be reused, design time that can't be refunded, and work hours I could have spent resting, instead of working to be ripped off.  (It's happened so many times already...)
... That people understood the sizes beyond XL actually cost me a couple of dollars or more EXTRA to get and that I can't afford to just eat that cost without going up on the cost of all shirts.  HEY, my husband wears a 4X!  I already pay!
... That folks understood that ordering special shirt types and colors really adds to the cost of shirts when shipping is tacked on because you can't afford to guess popular sizes and colors ahead of time in order to get a shipping discount.  It jus about doubles the cost of the project.
... That I was a social media sales expert like my sister.  Lol. Seriously -- multiple times a day???
... That people didn't make me request payment from them for MONTHS after delivery.
... That people remembered there are teachers in the back hallway who are usually left out of all the nice things.
... That I wasn't snubbed simply because of the type of class I teach. I COULD be a college professor.  I have the degree and the experience.  
... That I was clueless about the extent to which I have been ghosted by "friends".  
... That I had more true friends that I could actually hang around with on shared terms, instead of always being there only to support them.
... That the days I loved my job enthusiastically were more frequent.
... I got kicked in the teeth much less frequently at work.
... I was understood.  My motives are positive.  But nobody wants to believe.
... I was better at self-promotion.  I'm an awesome person who loves so many!... Who apparently couldn't care less, but anyway... Lol
... That when I extended the hand of friendship, it wasn't viewed with suspicion, disdain, or scorn.  I guess I'll beat them down eventually, but meanwhile I'll just quickly retreat to my safe, warm, quiet place, dress my wounds, and maybe try again next year.
... That chocolate caused weight loss, but apparently it's only chocolate Ex-Lax that does that. Shout out to my sister at age six!
... That we had a take-your-small-dog-to-work day.  His cup would run over! And I could get in some extra needed kisses.
... That some of us back-hall teachers weren't ignored at Christmas.  :). The biggest classroom in the school gets mighty lonely.
... That I could innovate in my class.
... That I could get the system to provide some resources for my class.  It's hard to innovate with no books and just what you can imagine when you are tired and not thinking so freshly.
... That I had the networking contacts to glean some fresh and fun ideas for my class.  Where are those websites??
... That I could have had some training for the last four classes I've taught in my current room. Professional development is not available to me unless I pay for it. :(
... That there was a little patio area outside my room for a break.  I wonder if I could create one?  I have a couple of old plastic chairs! ...would I get in trouble? They have them all over the rest of the building... Just not in my area.  It could be a great sunny spot for teachers to eat lunch outside!  :)
... That my allergies weren't intensifying with my age. If I could take a cheap pill that stopped them and had no zombifying side effects, I'd gladly take it.  But there is no such critter.
... That I could write an engaging and inspiring blog.  But it seems I'm better at providing schadenfreude instead.  And I can't even draw cartoons. *sigh*
... That I could have continued oil painting, but I wasn't being taught, wasn't learning anything, and wasn't inspired.  I was just getting studio time while the teacher did her own painting.  I'd have loved to finish that painting of my dog.  I even won some fair ribbons. 
... That I could figure out how to do glitter mock-ups!
... That I had a better house in a better neighborhood.  But I've paid for this one all by myself all this time and I don't want to live beyond my means. 
... That I wasn't making less than I was five years ago.  I thought my salary would at least hold steady even if it didn't ever go up again, but no, it looks like there's a plan to take my meager earnings back from me. We're supposed to get a raise, but also a corresponding insurance increase.  First raise in six years and they take all that and then some.
... That lots of peeps would order shirts and decals to help me survive with my 13 year old vehicle and house in an awful neighborhood. :)
... I had a great friend at work.  My friend who made me laugh and accepted me moved on to better job opportunities and I miss hanging out with her.
... That it didn't feel like someone was trying to make look like the bad guy.  Yeah, I'm aware. It's pretty obvious. 
... That judgmental people didn't judge me because I think differently.
... That the self-righteous Christian posers would either stop, if become true Christians who don't cherry pick what parts of the Bible they will follow.
... That I didn't have to use Zzzquil tonight to fix my circadian rhythm.  
... That Zzzquil worked faster. It's been an hour and a half already.

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